Alright, everyone here? OK, good.
Look, I don’t have a lot of time today, so I’m not gonna type up a bunch of crap about why I’m right. I’m just gonna cut to the chase and tell you why you’re wrong.
What follows are pieces of conventional “wisdom” (I’m using the term very lightly) and what’s wrong with these turd nuggets. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Lightning Round
Retired U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor announced this week she is involved with the development of a computer game for children that will help educate them on how the courts work.
Children will have endless hours of fun learning about the courts as they file for dismissal of charges, file for an appeal, file for a writ of certiorari and listen to hours of droning in a language not in their native tongue. Kids will have to watch out that they don’t get slammed by a gavel.
Uh oh, a hung jury! Be careful you don’t perjure yourself! Watch out for the sneaky lawyers! Weeeee!
Science’s upstart cousin, technology, is at it again, and this time, it’s taking the Girls Gone Wild route. Civil liberties advocates are campaigning against the use of super high tech airport security scanners that create highly detailed images of passengers’ naked bodies. On the chance that they’re not successful… anyone know how to get a job in airport security? Not that we’re asking. Having a desire to work in airport security is akin to enjoying a nice, solid punch in the face. And not the Hawaiian Punch kind.
A group of people without lives obviously conservatives (no, wait, this is Cali) very concerned citizens are protesting a lingerie store in Vacaville, California by videotaping customers as they enter and exit the store and then posting it on YouTube. Don’t get them wrong—they’re not against sex or lingerie or anything; they’re just concerned that it will turn their fair city into a pornographic wasteland soon to be engulfed in an all-consuming hellstorm of fire and brimstone.
Truth told, you can’t really blame them. I mean, that’s how these things happen all the time, after all. There’s, like, a mathematical equation to the craziness. Lingerie store opens up, 6 months later, a destructive rain of meteors rains down from the heavens while a gateway opens up, sending demons to destroy everything in the immediate vicinity. Happened not more than two miles from where I lived back in college. Durndest thing.
Coincidentally enough, I wonder just HOW they got so good with their camera skills. Yup, that’s right, we’re onto your hypocrisy.
What a surprise! Hollywood stars are coming together in Washington, D.C. to protest a war. Once again, the liberal elite are trying to make us lose a war, but this time Harrison Ford, Bo Derek and Robert Duvall made an appearance to save the tigers, as if they need saving.
No one really cares about what Bo Derek thinks, and Robert Duvall played Robert E. Lee, so we shouldn’t be shocked when he rises against his government, but Indy?! Why, Indy? WHYYYYY?!
This is believed to be the biggest celebrity coup in the War on Animals since the military tribunal and subsequent execution of Captain Kangaroo.
