Eat My Sports: Can it

On Monday, Boston Red Sox pitcher and resident blogger Curt Schilling went through possible career ending surgery on his shoulder. So, naturally the ensuing questions and articles over the past week have been about Schilling’s Hall of Fame credentials. This led to the ensuing thought of mine: what are HOF credentials? Are they like press credentials? Because I got a laminate once and was told that they were my “credentials.” So Curt, if all you get from the HOF is a laminated piece of paper, tell them where they can put it. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Can it

Creepy friend pop quiz: math problem edition

Quick, solve the problem: What do you get for the billionaire banker friend who has (and can afford) everything? For those that answered “news for this glorious and amazing website”, you, my friends, get a gold star. For everyone else that answered a naked picture of his wife constructed out of clippings from the Financial Times that mention his name, it’s after-school detention for you.

By the way, does this make what he’s done creepily kinky or extremely narcissistic?

Moussaieff said in an interview. “I have yet to meet someone who does not want a naked picture of their loved ones with text about themselves.’

And that question is officially solved.

There’s no better hero than an old person

While most people’s grandmothers are more than happy with their “#1 Granny” shirts and their weekly bingo nights, others are out there kicking all sorts of ninja buttholes.

Keiko Wakabayshi is 77 years old, 5 feet tall and a balls-out master in jujitsu, jojitso, kenjitso, judo, kendo and karate. Born in Japan but now living in Italy, the tiny handmaiden of death is loving her role as resident tooshie-kick-ologist for the Italian military. Good move Italian military! You wouldn’t want this feisty chick fighting against you. Now you can have fight your mortal enemy, the Lesbians.

Warrior of the Week: Kasey Edwards

Sometimes animals are so scary that we’re ready to give up and die after one bite.

Not so for Kasey Edwards, who was attacked by an 11-foot alligator while swimming in Lake Okeechobee, Florida. The “gator,” as the locals call it, chomped off his arm about “4 inches above the elbow.”

Did this faze Edwards? Not at all.

“It was a pretty humbling experience,” said Edwards, who was difficult to understand because his ginormous testicles kept getting in the way.

He stared down the “gator” for 10 seconds, and then gouged the scaly beast’s eye out with one of his remaining five fingers.

We salute you, Mr. Edwards. Not only did you kick an alligator’s ass, but you did it just like in the movies.

Update (6/27/2008):
For those just tuning in to this article, SeriouslyGuys has updated Mr. Edwards’ hero-status!