Day: June 30, 2008

They also charge for b’day usage

For the employees of a meat packing plant in England, it is the worst of times, but certainly not the best of times.

A local labor union is saying that Brown Brothers is forcing employees to clock out when they make trips to the bathroom, a practice the union calls “Dickensian.” This is seen as an affront to the common worker, who proudly gets paid for his or her 20 minutes on the can a little after lunch. How else can one catch up on the news?

Perhaps even more Dickensian of Brown Brothers is that it automatically fires anyone who asks for more gruel.

Now THAT’S science!

You won't like them when they're angry.Perhaps the French and Swiss have had enough of being referred to as Europe’s darling little debutantes, because they’ve got us all scared now.

A team of scientists from both countries are ready to flip the switch on the world’s largest collider, an atom-smasher, just to see what happens. Possible results include:

  • Showing us invisible matter.
  • Revealing other dimensions.
  • Spawning a black hole that will swallow the Earth.
  • Torching the Earth with particles known as strangelets.
  • Dog and cat cohabitation.

Of course, there’s one side effect that wasn’t mentioned by either concerned party or the article: massive worldwide orgies on the day it’s turned on. You know we’re stocking up on flavored massage oil.

‘You’ll never take me alive … or clothed!’

You’ve got to like a story that’s got everything you want in it. Women, nudity, stockings and soccer are always ingredients for a good tale-OK maybe not so much that last one, but hey, three out of four ain’t bad. Except, what happens when you throw in a few more elements, such as crime, Germany, slurry and manure? Well, not only do a less appetizing story, you’ve also got a recent event. Such as …

… two women walk into a farm in Germany. No, this isn’t the start of a bad joke … well, maybe. Anyway, said ladies decide to steal for their own want. What do they take, though? Manure. Cow-poo. Dung. Crap. A word we can’t say on the front page of this website. Yes, the classy broads begin filling stockings with the manure. Why? Their purposes were sinister! It was suspected that they wanted to bomb the area in an incident related to a recent soccer match! Diabolical!

Unfortunately, as many are wont to do, one of the ladies slipped into the manure tank. This spelled the end of their crime reign due to police then found one of the ladies clad only in her undergarments while it’s suspected that the other ran off naked as the day she was born. German porn is always the weirdest.

The McBournie Minute: It’s all about you

If you are reading this, there is a pretty good chance you are a pervert. I say that not to be offensive, but to point out that you, the reader, seem to find us through some rather unorthodox searches online. So, like this blog’s authors, our readers are freaky-deaky.

According to our site’s info-gathering stuff (“dohickeys” is the proper term), day after day the most commonly searched for phrase that leads to SG is, ready for it? “Inverted nipples.” Now, I am not really sure what these are, but it sounds to me like some people out there enjoy breasts that are concave or something. Really? People find that hot? Who are these people and who even knew inverted nipples existed (aside from Bryan Schools).

Hit the jump to find out what you apparently are into. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s all about you