Eat My Sports: Eat My Midseason Awards!
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed Under Eat My Sports | 3 Comments |
Let’s cut the crap and get right to the chase on this one. Yeah, the Rays are a great story, they’ll be an even better story when their pitching folds in late August and September. Chicago feels great right now, but don’t bank on the Cubbies or White Sox just yet. Albert Pujols still has the funniest name in baseball, now, on with the awards. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsSandboxes = very late term abortions
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Hey there, parents!
Do you have a lot of money? Do you hate your kids? Could you stomach living in Florida?
Then have we and the Army got a deal for you! For a half-million dollars, you can live within spitting distance of Disney World on a former Army jeep range. Every yard is a dynamite lottery, thanks to undocumented, unexploded ordinance!
Just send your kids outside with a treasure map, and then relive the glory days at nearby Pleasure Island!
And if you’d like to get back down to your “playing weight,” then go for a jog and blow those extra pounds away. Just think of Bouncing Betty as your government-provided hot-blooded trainer.
Written by Rick SneeWe’re winning on some fronts
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | 1 Comment |
Great news, everyone! Remember those pesky sharks that used to be all over the place in the oceans, killing and eating fish and sailors who fall overboard? Me neither!
After 200 years of hard for and perservierence, we’ve nearly wiped the shark population off the map. That’s right, we’ve killed around 97 percent of the shark population. Granted, this blog is not happy that it took two centuries to get to that point, but at least we have gotten here.
Now that we have sharks on the brink, it’s time we make sure we finish the job for our fathers, our fathers’ fathers and our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.
Written by Bryan McBournieBooks–the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |
Ellicott City, Maryland has spent 11 years battling “The Pack Shack” (lamest name for any kind of store ever or what?) adult store and all they’ve managed to do is pass a few clearly unconstitutional laws and give $187,000 in tax money to the store’s owners. But, at least now they can choose from a fine selection of used paperbacks to go with the sex toys and lingerie. You can’t fight city hall, but can city hall itself fight a determined sex shop?
SeriouslyGuys Exclusive: By the way, if more laws are thrown against the store, I hereby speculate that the next move it will make is to start selling antiques. You heard it here first, guys and gals.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorShocking headline of the day
Posted on July 1, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Attention readers in Amsterdam: Be on the lookout for several dangerous subjects who have reportedly busted out of jail. They are said to be furry and smell kind of bad.
Folks, this is why we need to kill all the animals, every now and then they get out of captivity and run amok, endangering us all. The most recent incident was in Amsterdam this week, when several different kinds of animals worked together to get out of a circus, or as we call them, traveling POW camps.
A giraffe, according to the headline, gathered “troops,” which means 15 camels, a few llamas and a potbellied pig for comic relief. The giraffe kicked open a fence and led its squadron of animalism into the Dutch dawn.
Written by Bryan McBournie