Strippers can now drop the much maligned social stigma that comes with their practice. For you see, in Iowa, these single-mothers of two who are having dollar bills stuffed into their g-strings in order to make it through med school are not forlorn harlots, no, they’re artists.
According to Iowa law, there is no all nude stripping allowed … in clubs. However, if it is performed in a theater or art center, it is considered art. Unless it is the 17-year-old niece of a local Des Moines sheriff.
After finally getting the majority of students medicated into docility, educators are facing a new Madison Avenue-created education-deterrent: energy drinks.
In response to children being awake, enthusiastic and eager for discussion, schools are banning the drinks outright. There has been little fight against the bans, which is fortunate because no prevention tactics have been adopted. (That’s right, kids: you can still take shots of Red Bull before school.)
As opponents to education in general, The Guys fully support these meaures. The last thing we need is for kids to realize that their adult contemporaries can’t do anything without their morning coffee. That kind of knowledge will only lead to our eventual downfall.
It’s only Monday, and yet those poor, poor celebrities are off to a rough start already. Former Disney star, and current luckiest freaking man alive, Shia LaBeouf, was left with a DUI on his record after a crash early Sunday morning in L.A.
Though LaBeouf could not be reached for comment, we are just as surprised as he is that his Ford F-150 didn’t transform into an Autobot in time to save him either.
Honestly, it took Snickers this long to have homosexual groups force them into pulling an advertisement? Quite frankly, we don’t get it. A commercial of Mr. T shooting chocolate bars filled with nuts at an effeminate looking speed walker? Not phallic or remotely gay in the least.
For further fun with this ad, and not to mention to add to the growing homophobia surrounding it. Check out this site running for the Mr. T commercials. We’d like to make a joke about the “Loud and Proud” section, or the fact that they could have incorporated everyone, and just had “The Gay-Team,” but we have more class than that.
Going to be a while? Mr. T pities tha fool!
SG quick tip time, everybody—if you’re ever completely naked while riding a horse (clearly giving new meaning to the term “bareback”) in Peru, don’t use the country’s flag as a saddle. Believe it or not, they frown upon that! Who would’ve guessed? Not me. But then again, I live in the United States. WE WILL EAT YOU.
