Day: August 6, 2008

Take it from Snee: Fanboys are a disease

On August 15th, yet another Star Wars prequel will be released into theaters, followed shortly thereafter by a TV series that is set between episodes three and four. (A short-lived TV series, by my wager.)

So, after three abysmal prequels–each over two hours long–there’s allegedly still too much back story left unsaid about the Rebellion against the Empire: a war that only took three decent movies to start and win. It seems ridiculous, considering we’ve already seen Darth Vader turn evil, renege on child support and correct his absentee-fatherhood after an unfortunate series of lightsaber incidents.

But no, it’s apparently not enough, because the fans still demand more context for the war to end all productive self-restraint.

Yeah, you heard me (if you didn’t read the title): George gets to sit this one out while the fanboys finally take the blame they deserve. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Fanboys are a disease

‘Do you take this woman?’ ‘Roger that’

Normally, we don’t cover much that has to do with love, aside from a series of features covering such a topic. We try to keep that mushy crap underneath, buried way, way down. None Only one of the guys is getting married. We are just too manly for such paltry things.

But wait, what if there was something that made it seem like an action movie? That’s what piqued our attention.

In England, where mostly crazy people live, a couple got married several hundred meters–err, we mean several thousand feet in the air. The bride and groom were each on top of biplanes flying side by side, while another biplane flying just ahead of them had a minister standing on top of it. The witnesses? Um, they were on the ground watching three biplanes fly around in formation.

For kicks, the entrance to the wedding reception wedding reception was a 50-foto high trapeze wire with an open bar at the other end.

Paris Hilton in 2008

Did you see the television ad from the McCain campaign last week? Paris Hilton certainly did, and was surprised to find herself featured in it, along with Sen. Barack Obama and Britney Spears. The ad, which Sen. John McCain has since defended, paints Obama as a celebrity unworthy of being president.

Normally, the SG Election Team, The Most Greatest Election Coverage Team Since The Dawn of Time®, would not give two hoots about what Hilton is up to, but it seems she has taken the McCain ad to heart and is throwing her hat into the ring.

Hilton has responded this week with her own ad, released online, where she announces that she must be running for president if she is mentioned in an ad, so she might as well start campaigning. Not much is known about Hilton’s politics, or even if she knows that they are, but one thing is certain: she is the first presidential contender to wear lip gloss since Jimmy Carter.

Paging Dr. Venkman

In the War on Animals, we’re not above celebrating when animal factions fight against each other. Heck, we wish they would all just wipe themselves out and save us the effort.

However, we don’t need certain wars getting out of hand.

Take, for instance, the centuries-long Dog-Cat War: we’ve supplied the dogs in their effort because they’re easier to boss around. When they finally defeat cats, we’ll just tell them to stop breathing in a stern voice.

But cats have unleashed (heh) a terrible new weapon on dogs: the mountain lion.

This is a slippery slope, cats. You just brought a lion to a catfight.