Day: August 15, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Cocoanuts’

Before I even start this review, let me first give a humongous thanks to Bryan Schools and Rick Snee for pinch-hitting for me these past two weeks. If you’ve not read Bryan’s review of The Dark Knight or Rick’s essay on Casablanca, then you are seriously missing out on some fine reading. It’s been absolutely crazy for me in recent times, and their astounding work hits the spot. Thanks a lot, you two.

With that said, it’s of no surprise that I enjoy the works of the Marx Brothers. I mean, if you actually sat down and watched one of their movies, I have a good feeling that you’d be of the same opinion. Let’s be honest-how can you not? There’s zany antics, wacky hi-jinx, musical numbers that don’t actually suck, sight gags aplenty and even philosophy.

Wait, what? Philosophy? In a black and white comedy stemming from the roaring twenties?

True believer, you heard right. Many movies tackle important philosophical questions, such as “What is the meaning of existence?”, “What is the true nature of religion?” and “How should people relate to each other?” However, only The Cocoanuts tackles the most complicated question of them all–“Why a duck?”

Step inside for more. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Cocoanuts’

Explanation: The Georgian-Russian conflict

Readers, if you’re anything like us, you’re an expert on all affairs, foreign and domestic. But not everyone has the time or inclination to study the world, learning the fine nuances that shape our own backyards.

It’s not enough to know that the flap of a butterfly’s wing gives birth to a huricane on the other side of the globe; you also have to use that knowledge to kill butterflies to end huricanes.

This is why we’re bringing you this explanation for the current brough-ha-ha in Georgia: the Russians want to hide the true identity of Bigfoot!

Yes, a pair of hunters have discovered a hidden enclave of Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) northern Georgia, presumably along the border it shares with Russia. The Russians have invaded to prevent these hunters from revealing the identities of these beasts later today.

The hunters, Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer (don’t bother trying to pronounce these bizarre Slavic names), claim to have DNA and photographic evidence, but will not reveal the monkey-men’s whereabouts because it’s an utter war zone now.

This just in: Apparently we’ve already done the “confusing the two Georgias” bit already. We, here at SeriouslyGuys, apologize and will brutalize our writers for this oversight.

Spooking the cat never became more fun

This is the Hollow Man. He's already ahead of you, science-nerds.Science’s slightly cooler cousin, technology, is at it again. This time, instead of creating jet-packs, invisibility suits are becoming closer and closer to fruition. Bending light never became more fun. While it’s obviously being looked at more for its military purposes, imagine the possibilities of personal use. Bending light never became more fun. As long as we can avoid the more horrifying possibilities (like, well, rape, murder and arson), we can then focus on the more useful purposes of an invisibility suit-such as scaring cats, small children and making shows like “Ghost Hunters” actually slightly correct.

One step closer to the American dream: invisible robot assassins to maintain global order. Yay!