Suckle on a harpoon, baby whale!
Posted on August 20, 2008
Filed Under That Wacky Australia, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Australia takes yachting very seriously. Since they are an island nation, they are all about boating whenever they get the chance. This means there are strict laws when it comes to boating, including trying to suckle a yacht.
This is somewhat of a rare crime, it has not happened since the swinging 60s, but now a suspected humpback whale calf is facing the death sentence for alleged multiple offenses
You are probably expecting this blog to go on a tirade about how that whale and all other whales deserve to die, well you’re wrong. We believe that the death penalty is immoral. Besides, it costs taxpayers more money in appeals than a life sentence does. you’re damn right we believe that whale deserves to die, and we hope it burns in hell.
Written by Bryan McBournieFinally, a sense of accomplishment
Posted on August 20, 2008
Filed Under War on Education | Leave a Comment |
There’s one thing we don’t see enough of anymore: public spankings. It’s getting to the point where we almost believed that kids aren’t hit at all anymore.
What happened to the good old days where it wasn’t just a parent’s responsibility, but the duty of any elected or appointed officials, shop owners or approximate busybodies to paint a kid’s bee-hind red? You know, when you smack someone’s kid for looking at you the wrong way, hand them back to the parent, explain what they did and watch them get slapped around again?
There’s good news: more than 200,000 kids got spanked in school this year.
Sure, that number’s down from a few years ago, but we can still take solace in the idea that somebody out there wants to slap that as … king look off their face.
Written by Rick SneeAnd on the left, you’ll see our Darwinism exhibit
Posted on August 20, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
In Chicago, five teens were arrested for breaking into a video game store. Two of the five might have escaped successfully if they were smart enough to avoid the cops, but instead they asked the officers for a ride home. Looks like the kindergarten entry exam wasn’t the only test that they failed.
First, some back-story: a local heard glass breaking at a video game store and phoned the Chicago police, who responded and managed to find a shattered glass window and three burglars. The three ran; police managed to capture one, but the other two escaped. Two more “lookout” men (and that makes five) were also arrested. Obviously, their vision was a bit impaired.
The two that fled the scene flagged down a police car and asked for a ride home. At first, the officer explained to them that their department did not offer rides, but then quickly noticed that the two men matched the descriptions of the suspects. Draw your own conclusions about that.
Obviously these two MENSA candidates aren’t true gamers. Why so? For two simple rules.
1. Basic gaming instinct would tell you to lay low. Crouch. Crawl on your belly. Trudge around in a box, even.
2. And above all else, you never ask for ride. You’re supposed to yank the officer out of the car and steal it. Right, Jack?
Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor‘Boobs on Bikes’–yes, we said it
Posted on August 20, 2008
Filed Under Stripper News, That Wacky New Zealand | Leave a Comment |
A New Zealand court will allow adult film stars tp ride motorcycles topless (the women) through the streets of Wellington, the country’s largest city. Last year, more than 800,000 people showed up for a similar show, which more or less makes the whole thing not so offensive to the public.
New Zealanders are known for two things: The Lord of the Rings trilogy and overall craziness. This is not the first time public nudity has been allowed in an urban area, and we suspect it will not be the last, either.
On a related note, The Guys will be blogging live from “Boobs on Bikes” later this month.
Written by Bryan McBournieMonkey see, monkey run
Posted on August 20, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Not helping their own cause, the animals have started making their fight against humans a bit too obvious these days. From suspected llamas causing car crashes to now a monkey trying to evade Tokyo police for almost two hours, it appears we have hit these bastards where it hurts.
The monkey was originally spotted by the automated ticket gates. Now, why would a monkey need to get on a train so badly that he would try to escape police custody for two hours? Early speculation: Suicide Monkeys!!!
Written by Bryan Schools