Day: September 5, 2008

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Superbad’

Yes, the teen sex comedy has been done to death. No, there is hardly a need for another movie with horny teenagers looking for a big score. Yet, Superbad is easily the new American Pie, and fully justifies its existence.

It takes one sequence for Superbad, directed by Greg Mottola but produced by Judd Apatow, to solidify itself as the new king of teenage sex embarrassment, and it happens to involve far more than man-playing-teenager-on-pie fornication. This is unquestionably crude, obnoxious, and flat-out offensive from the first words spoken in the movie. It’s targeting a specific crowd, and it simply nails the demographic flawlessly. Isn’t it just grand? Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Superbad’

You Missed It: When someone asks you if you’re a god you say ‘YES’ edition

Hello there, friend. How have you been? It seems like so long since last we talked. We missed you so much and we can’t wait to tell you all about the past week, because, well, you missed it.

I ain’t afraid of no guts
When last we saw them, Vladimir Putin Vigo the Carpathian had been vanquished back to the depths of hell, thanks to some great work by the Statue of Liberty and the assistance of the Ghostbusters. Now, Variety confirms, the boys are strapping on their proton packs after nearly 20 years. Sure, they may have packed on a few pounds, gone gray or even had mid-life crises (we’d include one about Ernie Hudson, but that’s just mean), but they are back for a third installment. Why? Because bustin’ makes them feel good. Also look forward to another Godfather installment.

Hottest grandmother ever?
The world got their first look at Republican candidate Sarah Palin on Thursday, but earlier in the week it was her daughter who was making headlines. Yes, 17 year-old Bristol Palin is pregnant by her super cute 18 year-old boyfriend hockey player. The couple said they had already talked about getting married, but the idea has come along farther since he slipped one past the goalie.

The Russkies strike
Hurricane Gustav hit the Gulf coast this week. Causing a lot of damage (and surfacing of fond memories) in New Orleans and elsewhere along the coast. So far, the exact toll of damage is unknown. The good news is that evacuees are safe and sound, because the aid FEMA had promised since Katrina just arrived last week.

Chrome sweet Chrome
Google went with a surprise release of its new Web browser, Chrome, this week. The browser is gear to work for more complicated web sites featuring Java, movies or other heavy duty page content. This is why you can’t click on links in Facebook. Thanks, Google!

BFF: Let’s bomb Iran

Over the past eight years, we’ve learned a little something about our intelligence agencies: they’re behind the times and often inept.

Well, worry no more! The CIA, FBI and 14 other intelligence agencies are using an online social network called A-Space to share their intelligence ideas. It’s modeled after Facebook and Myspace, which are known throughout the Internet for their security and validity of ideas.

“Instead of posting thoughts about the new Avenged Sevenfold album or Jessica Alba movie, CIA analysts could use A-Space to share information and opinion about al Qaeda movements in the Middle East or Russian naval maneuvers in the Black Sea.”

Sleep easy, America. Our next intelligence issues are going to be settled by that attention whore in the NSA who has 1,000 friends (and near topless pictures!). Or maybe some Secret Service crank whose ex-girlfriend suddenly has ties to Hamas.

Silly capitalist whores

The brothel business is booming in London town, BOOMING, we say, and the competition is creating a price war where you can get unprotected sex for just £25. That’s like … $350 American or something, so that might be a pretty good deal. One warning though–your chance of getting an STD and/or a new spawn is over 9,000. So, you might want to factor that into your decision.

Adam Smith would be proud. He’d still be dead, mind you. Horribly, horribly dead, but so very, very proud of the lesson that he’s taught.

Warrior of the Week: Vladimir Putin

How did you spend your Labor Day weekend? Grilling? Lazy ass. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin spent his fighting the War on Animals. How? Oh, he just won a fight with a tiger, that’s all.

Yes, we may have mentioned Putin recently, blaming the U.S. for the Russian invasion of Georgia. Apparently he reads SG and took it to heart. In realizing what he had done, he turned around and tried to make it up to us. Putin was on a trip to somewhere in Asia and was checking out a trapped tiger with a television crew. He did all the cool stuff, check the teeth, but his head in its mouth, but then things got out of hand.

The tiger escaped and headed right for the television crew. (See? Animals hate the media!) Putin leveled, aimed his tranquilizer gun and put the tiger down before it could kill the nice camera people. Vlad the Tranquilizer wasn’t in the KGB for nothing.

Let that be a lesson to all you foreign policy experts: write something mean about a leader on your blog and he will come around eventually. Kim Jong Il sucks.