Eat My Sports: OSU, BCS, EMS (Eat My Sports)

I’ll lay this one out for you from the get go. I don’t like college football. It’s boring. I’m sorry, but watching spoiled D- students get full rides to prestigious universities while displaying three and a half hours of shotgun offense just doesn’t do it for me. And for the talking heads that say the kids play for the love of the game, no, they are playing for the under the table $$$ and their first NFL contract. These kids are playing for money just as much as the pros, the pros just look better doing it.

All that being said, I decided to spend my Saturday night with two televisions in front of me at the local watering hole. Game on the left: Red Sox and Blue Jays, obviously. Game on the right: Ohio State at USC. Now as much as I can’t stand college football, I still pay attention so that I can occasionally write about something else aside from the Red Sox and the NFL. And from the three or four times I’ve watched Ohio State in the past couple of years, I can tell that this team does not belong with the big boys.

UVA put up a touchdown against USC, Ohio State could only muster a field goal. Let me tell you something OSU fans, Jamie Lynn Spears could play one on 11 against the Trojans and somehow find a way to kick her newborn through for a field goal. The Buckeyes are gutless. I have had the misfortune of watching our beloved Bowl Championship Series system put this overrated group of miscreants in the championship game the past two years, only to have them whooped straight back to Ohio without even a fight. Yet somehow, this team squeaks through every year through a flawed system and by beating a Michigan squad that has about as much fight as Michael Vick against his cellmate Bubba.

I know I may never see a Division I playoff in my lifetime, but there has to be a better way to weed out the pretenders. And to Jim Tressel and the rest of that sorry team in Ohio, that is all you will be these days, a pretender. Excuses like “if Beanie Wells had played it would have been a different game” are pathetic. One player, not even Wells, does not make you five touchdowns better, see: Buffalo Bills 1991 to 1994. I’m done ranting, somebody fix this system, here are your sure bets next week.

Top five games you can bet on next week:
5. Carolina Panthers over Minnesota Vikings
The Panthers are starting to look like they might be for real … and that was without Steve Smith. Minnesota cannot score touchdowns unless it is Adrian Petereson. And let’s be honest, the guy can carry a fantasy team, but not the Vikings. Carolina by 10.
4. New England Patriots over Miami Dolphins
Matt Cassell had shades of Trent Dilfer going through last week’s slugfest with the New York Jets. He’s no Tom Brady, but even Patriots-lite can’t lose to the Dolphins at home. Pats by 17.
3. Green Bay Packers over Dallas Cowboys
The ‘Boys defense is soft, and when Dallas finally plays a defensively talented team (dun dun DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN) like the Packers, it’s going to get ugly. Aaron Rodgers is looking like a solid investment, kind of like Lindsay Lohan right after Mean Girls. I’ll take the Packers by four.
2. New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals
At this point in the year I am seriously debating banning Chad Ocho Cinco and Larry “Phase Out” Johnson from my fantasy team. I see this one being ugly early and often. G-men by 21.
1. Washington Redskins over Arizona Cardinals
The Skins thrive on emotion, just take a look at last year’s playoff push. Sure, the thrilling comeback over New Orleans is certainly not going to carry over a 16-game season, but it will be enough to subdue the Cardinals for a week. Redskins by a field goal.