Because the difference between 17 and 18 is enormous

Posted on September 18, 2008
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In a gigantic sigh of relief from the Miley Ray Cyrus camp, R. “Chocolate Factory” Kelly disclosed to BET reporters that he is not, in fact, interested in anyone illegal. Kelly led in that he has “some 19-year-old friends,” and was once married to a 15-year-old, but he’s not interested in anyone illegal.

Well thank god that one is cleared up, and we no longer have to worry about it. Because after a career of sex-fueled albums, an hour and a half long opus dubbed “Trapped In The Closet,” and speculations of him having sex with AND relieving himself on an underage girl, this statement makes it all A-OK.

Other interesting celebrity quotes from their personal trials:
Ray Lewis: “I didn’t kill no mother-^%$#ing lion”
Samuel L. Jackson: “Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!!!”
Howard Dean: “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

Written by Bryan Schools