How To: Deal with an ‘economic crisis’

Posted on September 25, 2008
Filed Under How To, Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |

Yesterday, Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced he was suspending his campaign until the economic problems the U.S. now faces are dealt with. This includes his cancellation of an appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman” and possibly even not showing up to tomorrow night’s presidential debate. As much as the thought of watching Sen. Barack Obama argue with an empty podium sounds like great television, this blog is disappointed.

We are not alone, either. Letterman last night ranted about McCain’s sudden cancellation. Republicans are hailing the suspension as brave, while Democrats see it as desperate. The Guys think this could be approached in other ways, that’s why we bring you how to deal with an “economic crisis.” Read more

Written by Bryan McBournie

Mo’ mermaids, fewer lawsuits

Posted on September 25, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |

Maria Kristina Dominguez has lost her lawsuit (you know, the one we haven’t reported on) against Sean “Diddy” Combs. Why so, you ask?

Fun Fact: If you show up to someone’s party in a topless mermaid costume, they have a legal right to take your picture and put it in a magazine.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

Smells like … bacon

Posted on September 25, 2008
Filed Under That Wacky Australia, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

The animals are in a full blown crisis state and are lashing out in desperation. Bruce, an Australian pig, held his owner captive for 10 days inside her room while the pig went crazy with rampant demands to be fed. Look, there is a reason we make bacon, pork chops, pigs feet and scrapple out of these snot-nosed hooligans: to keep our cities safe. Sure, some companies and books may try and glamorize the pig, but make no mistake, they are dangerous and not to be taken lightly.

Written by Bryan Schools

Great moments in law enforcement

Posted on September 25, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |

Criminals take note: farting on a police officer can add some serious charges to your list.

In West Virginia, a man was stopped because his car had no headlights on at night. The cop reported the driver, Jose Cruz, 34, was slurring his speech and smell of alcohol. After failing sobriety tests, Cruz was arrested and and taken to the police station for a breathalyzer test.

Just before he took the test, police say Cruz leaned in close to his arresting officer and farted on him, then fanned the air toward him. In addition to being charged with driving under the influence, Cruz was charged with battery of a police officer.