Day: October 1, 2008

Take it from Snee: Citizenship tests and ‘biased’ debates

I’ve worn many hats in my day: lover, fighter, bitch, mother, firefighter (stripper at a children’s birthday party), Corsican–this list could go on and on. But, the most important hat I’ve ever worn is that of a problem-solver, a societal engineer if you will.

Right now, we have two major problems here in America:

1) There’s a new citizenship test for immigrants who are in the process of naturalization. The only hangup is that some people think the answers might be too hard for non-English speakers.

2) The moderator for the vice presidential debate might be biased against idiots people who are really smart, but just don’t come across that way when explaining why they’re smart. Just like O.J., Sarah Palin might have a hard time Thursday night because somebody might have read a newspaper that morning.

Here’s the solution: switch the formats. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Citizenship tests and ‘biased’ debates

Sox and the education

Looks like the reach of Red Sox Nation has finally found it’s way onto college campuses. Bates College is offering a course on Red Sox Nation as part of their curriculum, and with only 15 seats per semester, needless to say it fills up pretty fast.

Now, were Sox fans upset about the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fiasco? As far as we’re concerned, IT NEVER HAPPENED. Were we upset about Jimmy Fallon representing us (I use that term very loosely) on the big screen? Fallon has his own level of Hell in our book. And the millions of documentaries, books and children’s books since 2004? Maybe a little bit too much. But a college course? Freaking sweet.

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Warrior of the Week: Greg LeNoir

It’s not easy being lonely. I mean, life can be pretty weird if you’re single. It’s probably even worse for those that are married. One might think initially that with all the time that you and your significant other spend together, that you wouldn’t be lonely in the slightest. Au contraire, brown bear. Perhaps that’s how it is in the beginning, but once the years start to mount up, being lonely is all that one can do to not kill each other. At least, that’s what I hear.

So, it’s understandable that when the life of whatever may be closest to Greg LeNoir is threatened, he takes action. If what is closest to him is his prized toy rat terrier, then it’s kind of weird, but still understandable. If the action that must be taken requires him to kick logic to the curb, stick to his crazy guns and punch a shark in the face to save the dog, then it’s not understandable. No, it’s seven shades of bad-ass.

That’s right-Greg LeNoir of Florida, a mile mannered carpenter, jumped into the water to save his toy dog. Using his hardened and callused hands of power, he punched the shark over and over until it gave him back what was his. There have been only two people in history beforehand to have taken it to sharks in such a manner-Chuck Norris and Batman.

If LeNoir was fighting a ghost shark, then he clearly wouldn’t have been afraid of no gho-wait. Just hold on a minute. What do you mean that “the dog was real”? Wait, so he risked his life to save an animal from another animal? But it looks so not alive. I mean, that dog looks like it’s stuffed five ways to Sunday.

Aw man, I just don’t know what to think anymore.

Waddling on the catwalk

We talk about it every now and then, how Asia, more accurately, Japan, is completely bonkers, but often we don’t have a good example to illustrate this. Here is one.

A fashion how was held recently where the models were strutting their stuff in adult diapers. Yes, there is nothing sexier or more fashionable than the probability of soiling one’s pants. The argument is that it is supposed to bring adult diapers out into the public eye and get people to learn more about them. We all know, models dancing around to 80s pop music really gets you thinking about incontinence.

Wow, let’s all look forward to getting old.