Eat My Sports: Sex and the NFL
Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
I really want to write about the Red Sox this week. That old familiar feeling has come creeping around again, and my boys did it in overly dramatic fashion by finishing off the 100-win Angels with a head-first dive into home plate by Jason Bay. However, I don’t want to tempt fate by calling any of the series this week, so we’ll save it for an Eat My Sports: World Series Edition when the time comes, regardless of if it ends up with a worst case scenario for Fox execs by having a Tampa Bay vs. Philadelphia Phillies Fall Classic. For the time being though, Jed Lowrie, you rock, and Bay, just keep on rolling baby. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsGWI: Googling while intoxicated
Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Remember drunk dialing? It used to be so much harder when you didn’t have a phone in your pocket with your boss’ or ex-girlfriend’s number programmed into it. But really, drunk dialing is so 2003. It was replaced by drunken MySpacing, Facebooking, etc. (So what do kids these days, drunken YouTubing, Twittering or whatever it is they do?)
One thing that has not gotten passé is e-mailing under the influence. Good news, Gmail users, you don’t have to wake up in the morning wondering if you really did send that rambling manifesto to boss the night before. Yes, the developers at Google are taking a stand against inebriated e-mail with Mail Goggles.
When you enable Mail Goggles, it turns on only on weekends late at night. When you try to send something during this time, a screen pops up asking you if you really want to send it. More so, it does its own Google sobriety check, asking you to answer some math questions in a limited amount of time. Answer incorrectly and say goodbye to drunken e-mail message.
Now if they can find a way to keep me from drunkenly IMing my sister random advice, that’s something I could use.
Written by Bryan McBournieBound together by the ropes of justice
Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under Scurry (Politics), Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |
The economy sucks. Obviously, this is not new to any of you. In fact, the economy is so bad that not even sex is selling. Yes, that’s right, the old tried and true tactic of American Apparel, Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria’s Secret and Bea Arthur just doesn’t have the same effect as it used to-and that’s being felt everywhere. Work just doesn’t pay-this includes “pleasure entrepreneurs“. Tired of prostitution busts and police harassment that is driving customers away, New York City’s dominatrices are forming a political action committee in order to lobby for their rights. If that doesn’t work, well … let’s just say they have ways of getting what they want.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorTime to enter the war, Germans
Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Listen, Gerry, we all know that every few decades you just have to let loose and storm into some unsuspecting neighboring country. Yet we’ve noticed you haven’t done much of that lately. Sure, you just got reunited a little while ago, but that was 20 years ago. Isn’t about time you started fighting an enemy for no clear reason? (Trust Americans on this one, it’s lots of fun.)
We’ve got the perfect solution for you, and the best news is you don’t even have to spend all that money on gas to travel into another country. Fight animals. Sure, you may not be known for having a lot of animal attacks these days, and you may be well into your cups since it’s Oktoberfest and all, but our common enemy is coming for you.
You can start with wild boars, because they are taking over your country and are set to ruin your economy. Yes, boars are growing in population in Germany, ruining crops, killing pets (not such a bad thing) and even killing people (generally a very bad thing). So it’s time you join us in our battle, not just for the sake of the fatherland, but for the good of mankind.
Written by Bryan McBournie