Time to enter the war, Germans

Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

Listen, Gerry, we all know that every few decades you just have to let loose and storm into some unsuspecting neighboring country. Yet we’ve noticed you haven’t done much of that lately. Sure, you just got reunited a little while ago, but that was 20 years ago. Isn’t about time you started fighting an enemy for no clear reason? (Trust Americans on this one, it’s lots of fun.)

We’ve got the perfect solution for you, and the best news is you don’t even have to spend all that money on gas to travel into another country. Fight animals. Sure, you may not be known for having a lot of animal attacks these days, and you may be well into your cups since it’s Oktoberfest and all, but our common enemy is coming for you.

You can start with wild boars, because they are taking over your country and are set to ruin your economy. Yes, boars are growing in population in Germany, ruining crops, killing pets (not such a bad thing) and even killing people (generally a very bad thing). So it’s time you join us in our battle, not just for the sake of the fatherland, but for the good of mankind.

Written by Bryan McBournie