Day: October 13, 2008

Calling all warriors in the nation’s capital

It seems like it’s been a while since we have had any news on the whales/U.S. Navy battlefront. Today, we bring good tidings, the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear the case of the United States v. Free Willy.

To catch everyone up, species traitors have claimed that the U.S. Navy’s sonar on its submarines confuses and kills whales. (That’s the whole point!) First, a federal judge ordered the Navy to stop using its sonar that could kill marine life. Then, a Circuit Court judge said they could use the sonar, screw the marine life, before taking it back and saying the sonar had to go.

Finally, we are reaching the court that understands us like no one else. Best yet, it’s the Highest Court in the Land, and it has a couple appointees from the pro-sonar Bush administration. They seem to be a bit confused right now, so let’s all head down there and picket the court until they deliver justice!

Good idea, bad idea.

Good idea: Getting it on. Hey, if Volkswagen can have a commercial advertising reverse vasectomies, then a little coitus can’t be too bad, right?

Bad idea: Getting it on in front of a police station.

We know that when you get that feeling, you want that sexual healing, still, remember, people: if you’re going to be getting it on in public, choose your location carefully. Somewhat secluded woods make for a great location, in a parked car outside a police station does not. The more you know, right?

Tampa Bay hoo-hoo dilly rays

Some fans wear jerseys to support their favorite team, some don caps, some even go far as to tattoo their love on them. The Tampa Bay Rays though? They want to mock Native American heritage by sporting mohawks, and are encouraging their fans to do the same.

But what about the female fans that can’t exactly pull off the punk rock motif at the business office? Well bandwagoners, local businesses are giving women the rayhawk, down under. When reached for comment, the landing strip said it would be seeking advice from it’s attorney.

The McBournie Minute: Look what I found in your ear

I have spoken once already about the proper use of cell phones, but alas, it seems there is still more work to be done on reforming the world and its manners. Still, you should remember that the minute your cell phone goes off, everyone around you, especially strangers, hate you.

Let’s talk about ear pieces. Yes, we are  all glad you have that thing so you can drive with both hands on the wheel, but that does not give you an excuse to walk around wearing it in your ear all day. Really? You can’t just take it out of your pocket and hold it up to your ear? What happens when we as a society get too lazy to put that ear piece in our ears? I’ll leave that one for science to figure out. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Look what I found in your ear