OK, yes, I am bitter. But just a little bit. You see, when you grow up never expecting to see your team win a World Series title, it is very easy to get swept away when your squad accomplishes that. It’s even easier to get swept away when they do it again in a relatively short timespan. Most of the country views us Sox fans as spoiled rotten clones of the Yankee empire. The fact is that the loyal and dedicated Sox fan did not take any of this for granted. In fact the main reason we wanted to see another run is the fear that we may never see a World Series again (it’s a paranoia that won’t go away). We were a city/Nation starved for a championship before 2004, and that is why I am pulling for the Phillies. Continue reading Eat My Sports: More than a Phil-ing
Day: October 21, 2008
Results of a state college education
Ever notice that college is just like religion? They both claim that you’re better off financially if you attend them, but they’re always hounding you for money after you leave.
Yep, despite housing the greatest business and financial minds in their teaching faculties, colleges are horrible with money. But that’s how it’s always been.
However, you know things are bad when your school’s letters for alumni handouts sound like your own undergrad calls home:
“With the recent economic downturn and loan crisis, it has become even more important for Framingham State College to receive your support. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah …”
… which went on and on 113 more times and was signed by Framingham State College’s alumni association president.
Anyway, alumni were angered, the school had to make apologies–yadda yadda yadda–your degree from FSC became worthless because of a slow news cycle and even slower communications department.
I know you didn’t think you’d hear from me again, but …
E-cards are a lot like STDs. No one really wants to get one, and usually when someone does, it is because of a lack of planning on someone’s part. Luckily, InSpot.org has combined the two into one thing: the STD e-card.
Now you can tell that random girl or guy you hooked up with at the club that you are either accusing them of giving you something or think you gave it to them. Why an e-card? It’s simple: a phone call is just too personal, and you are more likely to know the e-mail address of someone you hook up with than their phone number (or name). We here at SG believe that this is sad. If you really want to send a card to show you care, send an actual card. That’s how they know it’s from the heart.
Possible e-cards:
- Yeah, about the other night
- Since I met you I can’t sit still
- Look, you may need to buy some special shampoo soon
- Is that a burning sensation, or are you just happy to see me?
- Please, please, please don’t tell my wife
Iran terminates spy pigeons, Robert Rodriguez intrigued by concept
Maybe Iran isn’t so bad after all?
So, imagine this: you’re the head of a country. You’re really keen on getting your uranium. I mean, who isn’t, right? OK, so you’re just minding your own business, uranium-ing around when all of sudden, you’re being bombarded! Oh no! You’re being spied upon! By pigeons, no less! Quick, eradicate them! You have to. It’s a matter of national security! I mean, when you’re being spied upon by insidious pigeons with invisible strings, no cost is too great.
……
Hold on–“invisible strings”? OK, nevermind. Iran, you’re a bunch of dummies. Also, animals? Stop it. We don’t need you all to incite the human race into fighting each other, thank you very much.
Don’t slow down, you’ll lose the tempo
If there is one thing that’s true about driving, it’s that there are not enough distractions on the road. How am I supposed to take my mind off the fact that I am driving down the road at 75 mph next to other cars doing the same? Cell phones, radios, nagging passengers, road signs and indigestion just don’t do the trick.
California may be on to something here. We need musical roads. Lancaster, California had one of its roads grooved so it would make the sound of the “William Tell Overture” (popularly known as the Long Ranger theme song) when a car drives over it for a car commercial. They liked the idea, and the song, apparently, so much that they decided to keep the tune, just move it to another street.
The idea has already been implemented in Japan, South Korea and Holland–all countries famous for having incredibly useful ideas.