Day: October 28, 2008

Eat My Sports: The 2008 Hurl Series

As a baseball fan, I am ashamed. I’ve squared with the fact that the season for the Red Sox just continues in March (otherwise known for some as “Spring Training”). However, this World Series has just become a joke. The umpires in this year’s edition obviously belong in the minors, Bud Selig is better served as a special PR consultant to Jose Canseco, and the whole state of Florida can eat my sports for this load of crap bandwagon for the Rays.

Last night’s game should NEVER have happened. MLB knew the forecast for Philadelphia waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before the game even started. But networks run sports these days, and FOX, which is probably ready to shoot themselves over the ratings, needed a potential championship game. Which, being a media guy, I get to some degree. But on my end of things, it’s easy to be a purest/righteous when it has nothing at stake for me. But that’s exactly why I get to complain about it, so deal with it, commies. Continue reading Eat My Sports: The 2008 Hurl Series

Don’t call it a remake

The biggest headline in all news important to Bryan McBournie is this huuuge Hollywood announcement:

Zac Efron will be in the new Footloose!!!1!

The plan is to modernize the 80s classic to include (presumably) abstinence pledges, new songs by the Jonas Brothers and the Baptists — led by Kevin Bacon — successfully upholding their ban on all forms of dancing except choreographed numbers.

To those of you who bought tickets to High School Musical 3, effectively unleashing this miracle of film on us:

You suck.

The best protests come from the liver … I mean, heart

How to effectively protest against drunk driving charges:

1. Stay sober. Remember, when you’re on the road, you can’t protest drunk driving charges if you’re over the legal limit. Plus, there’s that whole safety thing.

2. Idle hands create idle … stuff. If you are drinking, swallow throw away those keys. All of them. Yes, even the spares that you may have. Instead, get busy, by putting together a puzzle, calling your friends or walking around on the tops of the cars around you. Enjoy a delicious castor oil-toothpaste-Vick’s Vap O Rub cocktail. Put together your “Anti-Drunk Driving Charge” protest rally sign. Anything but fiddling with those car keys of yours.

3. Don’t bug the po-lice. If you have gotten a DUI (or its equivalent in your country), lay off the sauce. Don’t drink anymore. Don’t drive anymore. Don’t go to the police headquarters in order to discuss “their mistake”. Just get out your checkbook, pay your fine, mail it off and twiddle your thumbs for the next 5 weeks.

Unfortunately, it would seem that people in Vienna just don’t know how to take our advice.

Breaking news:

Vienna has just now gotten access to SeriouslyGuys.com.

Oh. My, well, this is slightly awkward.

Make-up sets

For those of you who did not watch last night’s World Series’ Game 5 (and judging by the atrocious ratings for this year’s classic, most of you didn’t), the game was rained out with a 2-2 tie in the sixth inning. The game was called due to a rain-soaked Philadelphia ballpark, but not before the baseball gods (Bud Selig, FOX, the man on the grassy knoll) allowed the game to be tied-up by the Rays on a few weather induced balls.

The final innings will be played tonight, with coverage starting at 8 PM (EST, fool). Watch as our beloved Sox try once again to have their ALCS Game 7 loss avenged … by the Phillies.

UPDATE: Just kidding! They aren’t playing tonight, either!

Hey, his blood is wine, right?

If there is one potential marketing ploy that is never used, it’s God. No one ever tries to court the Christians in America, despite the fact that they are a huge demographic. Perhaps one day Christmas will be a larger holiday like it deserves to be, until then we must stick to beer.

We turn now to the 27th Great American Beer Festival (held three weeks after the So-So American Beer Festival), in our search for God. There, one entrepreneur is asking, What Would Jesus Brew? At the festival, one could find beers from an old Abbey, He’Brew, a Jewish beer, Genesis Ale, Messiah Bold and even Damnation.

So does this mean drinking on Sunday is OK with God?