MasterChugs Theater: ‘Kung Fu Hustle’
Posted on November 7, 2008
Filed Under MasterChugs Theater | 1 Comment |
Stephen Chow might just be the saviour of action cinema. Anyone who caught his previous film, the deliriously wonderful Shaolin Soccer, will know what to expect: martial arts mayhem meets the vicious comic brilliance of vintage Tex Avery cartoons. No gag is too cheesy, no special effect too extreme. That is the wonder and awe of Kung Fu Hustle. Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorYou Missed It: Matching shoes and purse edition
Posted on November 7, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08, You Missed It | Leave a Comment |
This has been an incredibly busy week for yours truly. It has been marked with (like you care) endless meetings followed by excuses to drink during the week. There was also probably something really important that happened, but I can’t remember what it was. Whatever. If you were busy debuting a “hologram” this week, odds are you missed it.
Vote for change–of clothing
I have now remember what I had forgotten. There was a really important election made on Tuesday, a record turnout of voters have begun what is already being hailed as the element of change that has been needed for so long. It was a first for the country, and could signal a dramatic shift in how the U.S. perceives its leaders. Stu Rasmussen was elected mayor of Silverton, Oregon, becoming the first transgender mayor in the country. Naturally, speculation has now turned as to what sort of a dress he will wear to the inaugural ball.
Spitzer skates on criminal charges
Former New York Gov. and connoisseur of women Eliot Spitzer will not face criminal charges, for his patronage in a prostitution ring earlier this year. The U.S. Department of Justice said there was not enough evidence to support claims that Spitzer had monetarily been involved in transporting prostitutes across state lines, which is a violation of the–yes, this is real–Mann Act. After hearing the news, Spitzer said he was really sleepy and was going to head back to his hotel for a nap.
Hey big boy, bring that walker over here
A study announced this week in the New England Journal of Medicine suggests that a testosterone patch could revive postmenopausal women’s sex drive. This is being hailed as great news for old men, who can now finally put those Viagra and Cialis pills to good use. The down side is that aging, postmenopausal women sporting recently-grown fu manchus are not deemed as sexually attractive by most septogenerians.
Science: Bullies like being jerks
Posted on November 7, 2008
Filed Under It Must Be Science!, Picture of the Day | Leave a Comment |
A new study published in the journal Biological Psychology presents evidence suggesting that bullies like inflicting pain and even watching others in pain.
To test this theory, they showed footage of pain to “unusually aggressive 16 to 18-year-old males” and a group of normal ones.
Obviously, they figured out which ones were super aggressive by putting all of them in a giant race, realizing the ones caring baseball bats were their experiment group.
The “normal” males’ pleasure brain nubs did not light up when showed footage of pain, while the aggressive ones furiously masturbated. When the bullies were angered because the slide show was done, the researches put them in a room with kittens to calm them down.
Surprisingly, no kittens were hurt, although one was photographed without permission and put into a YouTube video to the soundtrack of Schindler’s List.
Written by Rick SneeLaura Ingalls Wilder: Sexiest writer ever
Posted on November 7, 2008
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Finland is costly. So, so costly.
They charge a whole 2 Euros a minute to assess the age-based rating of a series that will be released on DVD. That’s very costly to Universal Pictures, the studio that wants to release the nine-season long Little House on the Prairie television show. They don’t have that type of money. We’re in a recession here, people! Universal decided to take the cheap route and forgo this process.
Unfortunately, it leaves Finland with only option left: they must rate Little House on the Prairie as an adults-only title.
Technicalities are funny.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorAt the car wash, woof
Posted on November 7, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
The species K-9 has reached the ability to operate automobiles, folks this is dangerous.
Sure, the story of a pitbull knocking a car into reverse while the car was being washed seems harmless. But read between the lines and you will see that the animals are launching a full-blown attack — expect strikes at any moment.
We have developed a defense mechanism against the dogs though: if one approaches, act like you’re throwing something, this should detain the beast until it figures out you actually threw nothing in about five minutes time.
Written by Bryan SchoolsThe War on Journalism
Posted on November 7, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
The occupation of journalist is one of the most hated in the country, it’s right up there with lawyers, doctors and Paul Walker. But in times of tragedy, we as Americans always find a way to come together and make it through. This blog has some sad news of which to inform you: a reporter was viciously attacked by one of President Bush’s ruthless dogs.
We have always said that pets are OK to keep, as long as they know their place and you have the proper means to humiliate your pet. Clearly, the Bush administration has been lacking with its pets, the Unholy Trio better known as Barney, Miss Beazley and Willie.
Barney, a Scottish terrier, bit an MSNBC reporter on the White House grounds this week, a clear example of abuse of power. The Bush family has put its pets up on a pedistal, even giving them their own random and creepy holiday short films every year. Little did we know the mongrels were enjoying living so luxuriously while waiting to lash out at whomever they wanted to.
In accordance with his stance on crime, Bush has said Barney will be put down via bullet on live television as an example to all other pets out there. We say to the Obamas: please, please don’t get your daughters that dog you promised.
UPDATE: Video footage of the brutal attack can be found here.
Written by Bryan McBournie