What are YOU still doing here?
Posted on November 10, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |
Like excited children on Christmas morning, the American people rushed into the Oval Office to find …
… George Bush still in it, probably doing a puzzle or something.
Disappointed, they promptly awarded him the all-time record of highest presidential disapproval rating of 76 percent for not being Obama.
This rates higher than even Richard Nixon’s 66 percent when he resigned from office because of Watergate. To be fair — he was hated by hippies, who can’t remember to stay angry at anyone.
He also beat out former record holder Harry S. Truman, who was despised by 67 percent of Americans in 1952 for forcing five-star General Douglas MacArthur to retire.
Bush’s ratings are expected to sink lower and lower each day he refuses to morph into President-elect Barack Obama. By January 19, 2009, it’ll be amazing if he hasn’t started wearing a mask.
Written by Rick SneeUpdate (2:58 pm):
President Bush has attempted a new way to improve his rating: be seen with the cool new kid with the weird name. Hey, it worked in Ensino Man.
What a girly man
Posted on November 10, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
The man who helped save the future (stand aside Danny DeVito) AND made political puns out of lame movie quotes couldn’t even muster his way into the bedroom during the election. California Governor and resident terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that his very liberal wife Maria Shriver had in fact been gloating around the house in the days following the election. Schwarzenegger was apparently out of the bedroom, and reportedly wad too afraid to ask Shriver who her daddy was, and what he did.
Written by Bryan Schools‘Why so many arms? The better to kill you with, my dear.’
Posted on November 10, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | 1 Comment |
Where I work, at times I’ve been privy to discussion about what animal is the smartest. Quickly, the dog is brought up as a nominee, and just as quickly, it’s shot down in lieu of the pig. At times, other people have brought up chimpanzees, gibbons, mockingbirds, kookaburras and even cats (which are simply more sadistic than intelligent, I say). Now, it would seem that there’s enough creature to add to the list: the octopus.
And it’s not just smart–it’s terrifying. Like a velociraptor.
Example: meet Otto. As an octopus at the Sea Star Aquarium in Germany, one would be excused to think that he wouldn’t be up to much trouble during the winter period of the year.
Wrong.
Otto has taken it upon himself to climb to the rim of his tank and knock out a light simply by squirting water at it. The reason being theorized? He’s annoyed at it. This is cause for alarm, people. The animals are clearly trying to move past their own boundaries. Germany, you need to wake up and smell the calamari (or, at least the theoretical essence of it). Who knows how long before he climbs out out of the tank and kills people simply because they “annoy him?” As SG friend Groonk said, they may be attempting to surpass our intelligence on an evolutionary scale. We cannot have that. This is a war, people, and it’s time to take some action.
(Credit to Groonk for the article link)
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThe McBournie Minute: Socialism is all around us
Posted on November 10, 2008
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In the U.S., we often pride ourselves on living free. We can kind of get dramatic about it sometimes (”Give me liberty or give me death.”), but overall we consider ourselves the greatest country in the world. But little by little, we have seen our country become infused with some very un-free and un-capitalistic points of view. We have been the creeping of socialism. We’ve been hearing a lot about it lately, and our president-elect is about to roll-out his plan for the socialist state.
This is simply not acceptable. We need to take a harder look at what our government is doing and how it is slowly slipping away from its purpose. Luckily, my watchful eye has found some examples. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournie