Take it from Snee: Yes I can (serve on your cabinet)
Posted on November 12, 2008
Filed Under Take it from Snee | 4 Comments |
So, the election is over, which means President-elect Barack Obama has until Jan. 20 to appoint his cabinet. If he fails to do so, then history will remember him as “that guy who didn’t have a Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.”
I just want you to know, Mr. President, that I won’t let that happen. If you get into a pinch, I am qualified to fill any of the following positions.
(Oh, but don’t call my current employer, OK? My boss doesn’t know I’m considering cabinet positions.) Read more
Written by Rick SneeVictory in the courts at long last!
Posted on November 12, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
The Guys would like to thank all of you who turned out with us to picket the U.S. Supreme Court over the past month. We are pleased to announce that the court has ruled in our favor, which means the U.S. Navy can use its radar during training missions, regardless of how many whales, dolphins and porpoises are killed (and we hope that it is many).
The species traitors at the Natural Resources Defense Council argued that the solar posed a threat to marine mammals, who would hear the radar and become disoriented and probably die or something. As we have chronicled, the case has been bouncing around the legal system for more than a year. Finally, justice has been service in a 5-4 vote.
From the court decision:
“Of course, military interests do not always trump other considerations, and we have not held that they do. In this case, however, the proper determination of where the public interest lies does not strike us as a close question.”
We’re not really sure what “peace” the judges are talking about. This nation is at war with the beasts. However, we’ll take a decision in our favor any day.
Written by Bryan McBournieHalf of all marriages end in divorce
Posted on November 12, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
The other half are murder suicide pacts.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorDesperate times never called for these measures
Posted on November 12, 2008
Filed Under That Wacky Australia | 3 Comments |
We knew that the situation was apparently very bad, but never did we expect it to be that bad.
For those that enjoy to have their faith in humanity shattered, click the link. Be warned, though, that the content of the story is graphic and could be Not Safe For Work. For everyone else, just know that the best way to straighten out deviant boys is sports. Yep.
Oh, and for me? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorOklahoma man strives for a place in history
Posted on November 12, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |
As you might imagine, there is not a whole lot to do in Oklahoma. It’s flat, it’s got oil and it looks like a hand pointing west. Sure, there was a musical about the state, but really Oklahoma is Texas with an inferiority complex. And you thought it couldn’t get any worse than Texas.
But Oklahoma will serve as the backdrop for one of the the greatest feats ever attempted by mankind. Here, in the megalopolis known as Muskogee, Brian Jackson, a mortal man, will try to set a world record for inflating a weather balloon by mouth. Yes, a weather balloon is rather large. It’s 8 feet in diameter, to be exact. The world record currently is 42 minutes. Jackson first made it on the scene as a hotshot in inflating things by breaking the world record for blowing up a water bottle until it burst in 2006.
Why does he try this, you ask? Why does man explore the bottom of the sea? Why did we walk on the moon? Why did Christopher Columbus set sail across the Atlantic Ocean for points unknown? It is in our very being to do what seems impossible to accomplish. It is the search for glory that keeps us moving, and it is the shouts saying it can’t be done that give us the will to prove them wrong.
Godspeed, Brian Jackson.
Written by Bryan McBournie