How To: Celebrate a birthday
Posted on November 20, 2008
Filed Under How To | Leave a Comment |
Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s birthday is today. We are sure you are already aware of this, because it is a national holiday and all. Biden is turning a spry 66 today. That means he was born in 1942. So, the man is older than two states in out Union, and he is also a fun person to drink with.
One would think the man who would be vice president would get some sort of soiree, but sadly, it appears that has not happened. Not only did the Philadelphia Eagles not win one for him on Sunday (but then again, a tie in football is pretty special), but his future boss was kind of lame. What did President-elect Barack Obama get Captain Coattail? Some cupcakes.
Clearly, someone was not paying attention to us. That’s why The Guys bring you how to celebrate a birthday. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieSpitzer hooker comes clean
Posted on November 20, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | 3 Comments |
(What? Why are you snickering?)
Just when no one could give a damn about Ashley Alexandre Dupre, the call girl who was linked to former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s downfall, she’s decided to try the next oldest profession: media attention whoring.
Just when Silda Wall Spitzer might have moved on, Dupre’s centerstage again, apologizing through newspapers, Diane Sawyer and anyone else who wants to hear about her music, fashion and — this just in — upcoming books.
She stressed in the Diane Sawyer interview that she will never delve into prositution again, and then followed that up with more details about her “strictly business” sex with Spitzer, including that he didn’t want to talk and that he used a condom when having sex with a whore.
Silda is apparently unavailable for comment as she hasn’t publicly expressed her relief at the release of these details and Dupre’s new fall fashion line.
Written by Rick SneeTalk about screwing up
Posted on November 20, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Well it’s nice to know that some people are beating the system. An Indiana jail is seeking charges against six of its inmates who found a way to pry open ceiling tiles, sneak into a different cell and play good cop/bad cop while drinking homemade booze. Only one question remains: who had the handcuffs?
Written by Bryan SchoolsFloridian swamp land realtors are waiting anxiously
Posted on November 20, 2008
Filed Under What a Reach! | Leave a Comment |
Carnies, your treasure person awaits! Science has officially found the world’s stupidest person-Janella Spears, come on down!
For the Nigerian prince readers, allow me to translate:
Gretings! You ar now reding a stoyr abut a wummun and hir abilty to loose money. Like, a lot fo it. Despite poorly wurded emayls lik tihs artickle, even wons from “Presedent Bush, the Prince of Nigeerea, and Teh direckter of TEH FBI”, she still gave four hundrad thousind dollurs to a scammer. What a rooob.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorTime to make spears, everyone
Posted on November 20, 2008
Filed Under It Must Be Science!, War on Animals | 1 Comment |
We warned you about it over a year ago. It was announced yesterday that scientists have mapped the DNA of the woolly mammoth, better known as That Hairy Elephant We Killed Off a While Back.
This “groundbreaking” achievement was done under the guise of helping science learn what makes some species die off and some survive. Hey scientists, news flash, WE cause the extinction of animals, and we only save the ones that are cute and/or can’t be turned into clothing.
This blog knows better than to believe science–about anything. The real reason they wanted to map the DNA of the woolly mammoth is so that they can bring it back and set a herd of them up on an island in a theme park. (Say, someone should write a book about this.)
We don’t need any more animals to fight, especially ones we already defeated. Did the Romans clone Hannibal so they could sack Carthage again? NO!
Written by Bryan McBournie