Day: December 9, 2008

Eat My Sports: Contenders and pretenders

Watching a few games over the weekend got me to thinking about the yearly debate as to who your yearly contenders and pretenders are in the NFL. Some teams use a lot of makeup to cover their flaws, others win ugly and are constantly dismissed for not winning in style. Let’s go over the contenders and pretenders in each conference, and don’t act surprised when you see these teams in late January.

NFC Contenders
New York Giants
You could make the case that this is the most well-rounded team in football. They have arguably the league’s best quarterback in Elisha Manning, and a tour de force run game and defense that will make you feel like you left a sport’s convention with O.J.. This team is built to last long into the winter, and very well could see our first repeat champion since the 2004 New England Patriots, irony.

Carolina Panthers
Other than Jake Delhomme, I don’t see one reason why the Panthers won’t give the Giants fits in a couple of weeks. The running combination of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart is unforgiving, while Carolina’s defense continues a violent surge to the top with Julius Peppers back on the top of his game. But other than these two, name one NFC team that you think will be in the final four? Dallas, Washington and Philadelphia aren’t even going to make the playoffs, which leaves with … (great segue Bryan, I know) Continue reading Eat My Sports: Contenders and pretenders

Animals introduce germ warfare

Eating monkeys, as it turns out, may not be the healthiest thing for you–unless your idea of health is illness. We know, this sounds like crazy talk, but we feel it is our job to tell you about this concern.

According to a CNN report, people in Africa have turned to eating the local monkey population because of the rising price of food. In some respects, this is good news, because now the people, without incentives from Big Government, are going out and taking the fight to the animals–and winning!

On the other hand, some of these warriors are getting some pretty nasty diseases like monkeypox, which, like chickenpox, can only be caught from contact with its namesake.

So, if you happen to be in Africa and you’re on a safari or scrounging for food or whatever, do not eat monkeys, no matter how tasty they look. However, it’s perfectly OK to kill them. They are our enemies after all, and we must stop their attempts at germ warfare.

The iPhone is the most deadly gateway drug of them all

UK tabloid The Daily Star reports that Amy Packard has been comatose for seven years following her decision to screw around with heroin. Amy’s mother Thelma wants Underworld, the newly renamed Drug Lords game for the iPhone, abolished.

“My daughter’s life has been ruined by drugs,” protests Thelma. “If this game is allowed to come out, impressionable kids will play it and Amy’s mistake will be repeated over and over again. Youngsters like Amy are exactly the people who download and play games like this on their mobiles.

Drugs can be, and ultimately are, bad. There’s no argument in the world against that. What’s just as bad, though? The “I was personally affected by this, hence I want it banned” attitude. Wanting to ban something you’re personally upset by is far more offensive than the source material itself. If parents want to give iPhones to their possibly already spoiled children and let them run around unchecked, they’re asking for trouble.

Note: Source link might be considered Not Safe For Work, simply based ads depicting scantily-clad women-folk and how open your employer is to that concept.

Nobody puts Sydney in the corner

Australia is one of the drunkest countries in the world. It’s like America, if America was Texas and had no world military presence or ambitions whatsoever. They also seem to have a penchant for bad movies, but let’s avoid for the low blows, shall we?

The hard-drinking reputation Australia has certainly applies to its politicians. The New South Wales (How cute, two adjectives in the name!) legislature has no problem reaching across the aisle to hand someone a Foster’s. But now they may have to have sobriety tests before voting. A Christmas party got out of hand, and other incidents in the state have raised eyebrows.

State police minister Matt Brown was dumped from his portfolio in September after allegedly “dirty” dancing in his underwear over the chest of a female colleague after a drunken post-budget office party.

Dirty dancing in his underwear? Over the chest of a female colleague? That sounds more like Risky Business to us.