It seems as though everyone has their favorite version of A Christmas Carol. Many like the classic 1951 Scrooge starring Alastair Sim as the title character (which we reviewed last week). Others prefer George C. Scott in the 1984 made-for-television version. There are those that enjoy the updated Bill Murray version, Scrooged (which we’ll get to next week). Some people actually like the 2004 made-for musical version starring Kelsey Grammar (just like Pop Rocks blowing up Mikey’s stomach, I think it, too, is an urban legend). For my mom, and like a number of others as well, there’s no substitute for the 1992 feature film version done by Brian Henson and his crowd, aptly titled The Muppet Christmas Carol. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’
Day: December 12, 2008
You Missed It: Pay to play edition
Yeah yeah, so You Missed It has been gone for a while, but you should know that your favorite Friday early-afternoon feature just can’t quit you. In fact, you could even say that You Missed It missed you. (So does that mean that you missed you as well? Forget it.)
Moving right along, we’re backfor this week and next, then we’ll see you in 2009. If you were busy telling humans that they are going to destroy the planet, odds are you missed it.
Corruption? In illinois? Go on!
Illinois Gov. Rod “The Rod” Blagojevich was arrested by the FBI this week in connection with corruption charges, the most notable of which was the alleged attempt to sell President-elect Barack Obama’s vacated seat in the U.S. Senate. Just a day prior to his arrest, Blagojevich told local media he was aware of people listening in on his phone calls, including the Chicago Tribune, and challenged them to listen away. It’s nice to see that 2008 has marked a return to scandals we can understand, you know, sex and corruption.
Buy American, that way we don’t have to just take your money from you
The Big Three auto makers (we call them auto makers because it’s the only time we use the word “auto” anymore) plead their cases to Congress, and the message was received–in the House, anyway. A measure to approve the bailout was pretty much derailed in the Senate on Friday, leading the White House to say it would consider funding the bailout. No one has had the heart to tell President George Bush he doesn’t control the money.
Stay tuned for The Late Show
It was announced this week that retiring Late Show host Jay Leno will be starting up a new show on NBC in the 10 p.m. slot. The show would likely be along the lines of his current show, which a topical talk show format. This move is being seen as bold, because it assumes anyone is still watching NBC at 10 p.m. on week nights. In other news Conan O’Brien will be on at 11 when the change is made, which is fine, but that means the nation is in danger of ending its days with Carson Daly.
Selfish women risk toddler penises
Content Warning: Gentlemen, you may want to cross your legs in advance.
Ladies, we hope you’re proud of yourselves. After years of your stand-up comedians and sitcom stars berating men for leaving the toilet seat up, you’ve single-handedly crushed the penises of at least four British toddlers.
The children were merely trying to lift the seats up where you lazily left them, and the seats collapsed mid-stream, whacking their wee-dandy-doodles.
Doctors — who are apparently more motherly than you self-absorbed sloths — now say the seats should remain up, secured by a more responsible adult.
Also, you should totally start leave him alone when he’s watching sports all day. And make him those tacos he loves so much. You know, if you’re not too selfishly lazy.
Does studying not get a shortcut command?
Oh, WoW. Your players never fail to amaze us.
Federal Communications Commissioner Deborah Taylor Tate claims that World of Warcraft and other online games are directly responsible for students dropping out altogether. In a speech to the Practicing Law Institute last week she cited a recent FCC survey,
“With the explosion of educational resources available online, one might think parents would be 100% pleased with the Internet’s role in their children’s lives, but surveys show just the opposite: a late 2006 survey that showed 59% of parents think the Internet has been a totally positive influence in their children’s lives– down from 67% in 2004.You might find it alarming that one of the top reasons for college drop-outs in the U.S. is online gaming addiction – such as World of Warcraft – which is played by 11 million individuals worldwide”
Tate provides no real evidence of her claim, but we’ve also seen what happens to people who let their lives be dominated by an MMO’s wily charms. While it’s hard to believe that huge swathes of people are dropping out purely to play Warcraft, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think that it had a hand in a few educations getting flushed away. As always, however, this is less Blizzard’s fault and more the fault of whoever made the decision to let a computer game control them.
Though, just to be on the safe side, we’ll make the illogical jump to a conclusion that Blizzard Studios is NOT a real American hero. Because someone has to be the first to do so.
Remember the old Super Soaker ads where they were used for revenge on someone?
Let’s face it, sometimes, no matter how much you rant and rave from your driveway the damn kids won’t get off your lawn. That’s when it’s time to take matters into your own hands. One man in Minnesota did just that when he found his back was against the wall.
Scott Edward Wagar, 50, was tired of teenagers toilet papering his house. So, he did what any sensible person would do. He went out and got some night vision goggles, a squirt gun and some fox urine, then played the waiting game. The teens showed up again and he let them have it, in quite possible the strangest golden shower case (and that’s saying something) this blog has ever seen.
Now for some reason, Wagar, not those cursed teenagers, is getting charged with fifth (fifth?) degree assault. Why can’t we use shotguns for warning shots anymore?