Day: December 17, 2008

Take it from Snee: Go ahead, make my wish

So, on the drive to work today I heard some shill for the Make a Wish Foundation plugging his product on the Go Fish Radio Network.

(That’s the better morning radio show in Huntsville, AL. Its predecessor was, I kid you not, a show called “Rick and Bubba.” They remixed songs that were popular eight years ago to include annoying southern girls and rooster calls. They were rejected from Huntsville like a microwaved baboon heart transplant.)

You’re probably thinking, “Oh god, you hate the Make a Wish Foundation?”

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: it’s a misguided program that supports the wrong clientèle at the expense of donors. (Long answer continues after the jump.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Go ahead, make my wish

The year they fined Santa

New York is trying to become America’s Christmas hatingest city this year, and from what we have seen, it’s way out in front. Olympia, Washington has nothing on the Big Apple.

Santa Claus was delivering presents in Brooklyn recently, and he found out the hard way that parking laws apply to him, even though he is a seemingly immortal elf who regularly braves animal attacks for our benefit. This time, San Nicolas was operating under the false identity of Chip Cafiero, a “retired schoolteacher.”

On Black Friday, he parking his horse-drawn carriage and an SUV assisting him was double-parked next to the carriage and a traffic cop noticed.

Santa says he yelled “Ho! Ho! Ho!” to get the traffic agent’s attention because the SUV wasn’t blocking traffic. But in his words, “This grinch just went ahead and fined me.”

Sure, it’s nothing like the booing Santa got from Philadelphia Eagles fans during a game in the 60s, but that’s pretty rotten. Santa didn’t have it easy last year, either.

Only in America/Japan/International Waters

In the strangest news story you’ll find this side of Jack Daniels, apparently you can sue an airline for getting you drunk!

Yoichi Shimamoto is suing United Airlines for serving him drinks on his flight from Osaka, Japan to San Francisco. According to Shimamoto he became so drunk that he had a dispute with his wife after the plane landed, and ended up striking her. Now he is blaming United for serving him the booze in the first place. Only here …

“Uh yes officer I am driving drunk. However it was the bar that served me, so why don’t you go arrest them?”

Ransoming mom given reward

Hey, Britain!

“Pip up, stiff upper lip. What say and what ho, good morrow to you, Chris. What have you for us today?”

Just a question, Britain. A small one even. Slightly insignificant.

“Well, do spit it out, old boy. Her Royal Empire has always been gifted with intelligence. Given that the great Oxford University resides in our merry lands, why, if there’s a question that we can’t answer, then it can’t be answered by any.”

Cool. So, I just read that a British mother, who’s currently being jailed for kidnapping her very own daughter simply so that she could claim the reward money, was recently given a Playstation 3 as a reward for good behavior. Of course, I understand that those aren’t exactly cheap over in Old Blighty due to the exchange rate and all. What’s up with that? I mean, if you’re in prison, you’re there to be punished, right? Shouldn’t your reward for good behavior be not being shivved at lunch?

“I … ummm … errr … I say, why, I say, would you look at the time?! I must get back to my house! It’s time for crumpets and tea! Sally-forth, now!“

It’s not official until it’s on Facebook

Facebook is an addiction for many people. (We are counting on it, because we want you to be a fan of ours on it.) Thanks to the recession that has been exported from the U.S. to our friends abroad, home owners are finding out in new and exciting ways that they are, in fact, homeless.

The Australian Capital Territory Supreme Court allowed a lawyer to notify a couple of foreclosure on their home via Facebook. Yes, the lawyer had his on home mortgage application on the site. When asked about why they had not paid their mortgage, the couple simply said they hate those application things and kept hitting “Ignore.”

According to the couple’s Mini-Feed, they are now listed as “homeless.”