Month: December 2008

NBA Live used by NBA teams, Pacers still suck

The NBA says about half of the league’s 30 teams employ NBA Live 09 in making personnel evaluations, which, y’know, makes Electronic Arts all kinds of happy.

What makes NBA Live 09 better than the competition, NBA 2K9, is a feature called Dynamic DNA. Essentially, the DNA system is a statistical aggregator that feeds new information such as shot and scoring tendencies directly into the game. The reason why GMs would want to use it is that it’s constantly updated and directly affects gameplay.

Daryl Morey, general manager of the Houston Rockets, is a devotee of talent-evaluation demigod Billy Beane (the general manager of Major League Baseball’s Oakland Athletics), and swears by video games — and not as a diversion.

“I don’t play EA Sports as a game. I use it as a tool,” he says.

Pretty impressive, right? I mean, it sounds like NBA Live just can’t be stopped by anything, right?

Yeah, keep thinking that.

WWJE: What Would Jesus Eat?

Many chocolates claim to be divine, but sadly, they always come up short. Until now.

A German businessman is selling Jesus chocolates he calls “Sweet Lord,” just in time for the holidays Christmas. Shockingly, Protestants and Catholics in Germany are none too pleased by the entrepreneur’s attempt to bring Jesus back to his birthday party.

If you ask us, they’re really missing out on a great way to get people back in the pews on Sundays, at least for Catholics. Instead of giving out bread at communion, give out chocolate Jesuses (Jesi?). It’s still his body you’re eating, right?

Want to order some savior? You can find Jesus here.

Celestial event? (Frowny-face.)

Just when it seemed like Australia couldn’t get more full of themselves, the skies have to just smile down on them.

Jupiter, Venus and the Moon were aligned just after sunset so that they formed a happy face over the country/continent that gave us Yahoo Serious and Fosters beer. Witnesses also reported hearing the song of angels, but that was just the iconic Sydney Opera House’s choir rubbing it in a little.

Americans will get to see it tonight, one day later. Oh, and because of our position, the moon will be flipped around, frowning at us.

U.S. astronomers suggest just staying indoors at 20 to 30 minutes after sundown, and pretending not to know what Australia’s talking about when they call.

It’s not like they’ve got anything better to do

NFL superstar and millionaire Chad Johnson, also known to go by the alias “Ocho Cinco,” is a fairly unique man, being one who apparently really knows how to shop for his loved ones. He was recently spotted on this past Friday taking part in the retail festivities known as Black Friday. His main purchase? A complete band set of Rock Band 2. Not one to miss out on a deal, Johnson said the game as well as a stereo and Cuisinart four-slice toaster were for his coach.

Sure they were, Chad. Sure they were.

The McBournie Minute: It’s the most lethal time of the year

Thanksgiving has come and gone and left behind the traditional amount of deaths and injuries in its wake. We all know that it’s nice to go home for the holidays, but really, isn’t the true American holiday tradition that of finding new ways to hurt ourselves.

I’m not talking about family arguments and hurt feelings, I’m talking about injuries both turkey-related and non-turkey-related.

Perhaps the biggest domestic story of the Thanksgiving break was the traditional late-NFL season Wound From a Deadly Weapon (WFDW). New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, a poster child for why our heroes suck, was shot at a night club. It was only found out later that the person who shot Burress was Burress. Not only can this man catch anything thrown at him, he can even catch a bullet. He currently leads his team in WFDWs, but the Cincinnati Bengals league the league overall. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s the most lethal time of the year