The McBournie Minute: Go away, tourists
Posted on January 5, 2009
Filed Under McBournie Minute, Scurry (Politics) | 1 Comment |
I’ve mentioned from time to time on SeriouslyGuys that I am a resident of the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. Yes, I live just outside of our nation’s capital, which means I can go downtown and look at big marble monuments you haven’t seen since sixth grade any time I want. I have the benefits of getting local news and national news basically happening in the same place.
Best of all, I can even tell someone where I live without them furrowing their brow and replying, “Where’s that?” (Eat it, Rick and Chugs!)
So in this first-ever afternoon edition of The McBournie Minute, I politely and respectfully ask all of you out there to stay the hell away from my town this month. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieSo much for the happy ending
Posted on January 5, 2009
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The Internet, it’s great. It allows college kids to illegally download the latest Death Cab songs so they can feel cool without “selling out.” It allows us to verify any argument through Wikipedia, even if it has no factual backing. And most importantly, it allows those without girlfriends to log on and get rid of some extra bandwith, without suffering through the uncomfortable morning after.
However, in China, the government is taking measures to make sure that its citizens cannot find their porn through major search engines like Google. Also on China’s Internet s***list, the New York Times. Ironically enough, Axl Rose’s “Chinese Democracy” isn’t on China’s radar, or anyone’s for that matter.
Written by Bryan SchoolsScience says Whitney Houston did not lie
Posted on January 5, 2009
Filed Under It Must Be Science! | Leave a Comment |
Very romantic scientists at Stony Brook University in New York discovered that certain amount of married people experience “Endless Love.” They also proved that someone may or may not “Always Love You” and verified that the entire Michael Bolton catalog applies to a handful of test subjects.
For the study, they compared brain scans of couples who had been together for 20 years to those who had just reached third base, maybe made it home once. About 10 percent of the longtime couples reacted the same as new couples when shown pictures of their partners. (Another 10 percent reacted by needing a drink.)
So, if you’re in a committed relationship and feel just as strongly about your partner as when you met, great. For the rest of you, you now have to fake it because your partner will read this report.
Written by Rick SneeThe analogy of arcades being speakeasies just became more legitimate
Posted on January 5, 2009
Filed Under Booze News, What a Reach! | Leave a Comment |
Pouring one out for your digital homies just became a lot more difficult if you reside in Illinois. I mean, really difficult.
Despite there never actually being many instances of this, Illinois has decided to ban any and all references to malt liquor in video games “marketed to children.”
Protip: This will most assuredly make America a better place somehow. Obviously. Clearly.
The state’s government is introducing a whole range of laws designed to tackle alcohol abuse and drunk driving, of which this is but one. Advertisements and displays of any sort of “alcopop” or malt liquor will not be allowed in any video game hoping to go on sale in the mid-Western state.
Protip: Mystifying alcohol and making it look like some sort of forbidden secret will totally not make children all the more curious to try it.
Billboards within 500 feet of public schools and live performances where the majority of the audience could be children have also been affected by this new law, which went into affect this past week.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorProtip: Prohibition on a video game level is just a completely inane idea.
Finally, a sport you can play along with at home
Posted on January 5, 2009
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
It’s Monday morning, and for many of you, your first day back on the job since the holidays. This can mean only one thing: you are thinking about skipping out at lunch and heading to the bar closest to your office. We don’t blame you one bit.
In fact, while you’re there, you may want to brush up on your beer pong skills (assuming it can legally be played in bars where you live), because, like a Dominican national, practicing your technique could bring you to the big time.
The World Series of Beer Pong is wrapping up today in Las Vegas. There, teams have the chance to show their stuff in between dunking ping pong balls in warm water in an effort to wash off the dust bunnies and curly hairs in a totally sanitary manner. This apparently is the fourth installment of the World Series of Beer Pong, which begs the question: how did it get under our radar for so long?
Rest assured, Team SG will be there next year, and we will have our drinking shoes on.
Written by Bryan McBournie