Day: January 21, 2009

Take it from Snee: This is how married life is

Hey, readers. How’s it going? Been working on the novel you talked about? (Rhetorical questions.)

Oh, what’s that? “How’s married life?” you ask?

What a great question that I haven’t been asked since the receiving line five minutes after slipping the priest a fiver. Until now, I’ve been fumbling through it, answering as objectively as I can with less than three months of experience.

However, it’s been three months, so I can honestly explain what married is like now. The past 90 days have turned me into a marriage expert — a marriage Nazi, even — in that anyone else’s advice about marriage is sad, ridiculous and should probably be exterminated in a camp somewhere. (The advice, not the person.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: This is how married life is

Military gets gay over soldiers’ feelings

OK, so there’s talk that President Obama might lift the ban on gays in the military — you know, because there definitely aren’t any gays or lesbians in the military right now.

The hold-up to lifting any such ban is that there are soldiers who will have a problem with it.

This, of course, makes perfect sense, since the military can’t order soldiers to serve with people they don’t like, right? We’re sure that racist soldiers don’t have to serve with openly black soldiers, right? And sexist soldiers don’t have to serve with women, correct?

Sure, there was that one time a Protestant soldier had to serve with Catholic and Jewish platoon mates, but we all had a laugh about that … eventually.

Fortunately, today’s military worries about the special interests of her soldiers, protecting them from the big scary gays, so they can serve in s–tholes like Iraq without fear (or understanding).

Moonspeak ZOMG!!!11 TXT U L8R?

Fire off that last mail message real quick, Japanese students. You won’t be able to do that at school anymore.

It seems that Japan’s Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology doesn’t want students to have their phones at school anymore. They will hand their decision down to schools and school boards as early as this month. Cell phone heads, it looks grim for you.

Forget the kids at school. They can go talk to each other face to face — that’ll be good for them. What’s really important are the Japanese entertainment implications. This will change the face of a good deal of stereotypical life in Japan. How often does a phone call or message at school advance the plot of their stories in entertainment? What’s going to happen to the phone flirting? How else will the tentacle monsters surprise school girls?

What are they going to do now? Are they going to have to go back to the carrier pigeon? Don’t tell me we have to go back to that note-in-a-shoe-locker thing again.

This place is nuts, man

Want to go to Guanajuato, Mexico for spring break?

You may think that Cancun is the wild place to go for tequila drinking, bad choices and hooking up with some chick who said she goes to Oklahoma, but that’s nothing. In Guanajuato, rumors spread that the mayor (el mayor) had banned kissing. To combat this vicious, vicious rumor, the mayor has declared his city the kissing capital. Wooooooo! Who wants to do a body shot?

What exactly Guanatjuato is the kissing capital of remains to be declared. Is it Mexico? North America? The world? Your heart? Stay tuned for more updates from our sister site, HombresSeriamentes.com.