Day: February 4, 2009

Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Or, 25 Things About Me

I’ve been successfully ignoring Facebook for nigh-on three months when I start getting emails about friends tagging me in notes. As an Internet celebrity, that makes me nervous: who knows what my friends are saying about me when writing 25 things about themselves?

Imagine my surprise to find they had written not a got-milked thing about me! (Are you angry? Good imagining!)

So, as a service to you readers (especially the angry ones), here are 25 things about me: Continue reading Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Can anyone get to Riviera Beach, Florida right now?

Folks, we don’t get many opportunities giftwrapped for us like this one: An estimated 100 manatees (which, by the way, are an endangered species) are huddling close together to keep each other warm NEAR A DOCK.

Seriously, look at this. Can any of our dedicated readers get over to the dock there and, I don’t know, toss in a grenade or some poison or something? Hell, if you’re already in a boat reading this on your cell phone, you can just ride right over the SOBs and kill ’em the old fashioned way.

The enemy has made a mistake, now it’s up to us to make them pay for it.

Johnny 5’s fingers are alive!

Robots. It just seems that we can’t avoid them, no matter where we go. I mean, if they’re not trying to eat you, then they’re trying to arrest you. Why don’t you make something useful already!

Oh wait. What’s that? You say that the French are finally contributing to society and looking into how fingerprints can be coded into electronic transmissions? Well, that doesn’t sound useful at all. In fact, it seems quite useless. Way to go France! You’re back onto the pile of useless countries for me again, except now you’ve moved two points ahead of Luxembourg.

Wait a second. You say that these transmissions can eventually be adapted into sensors for prosthetics? Oh, and that these prosthetics could eventually lead to robotic hands and arms?

Oh, really now.

Prepare for eventual and literal iron grip, world!

Will they hit tailgaters next?

The terrorists are hitting San Francisco and they’re doing it one porta-potty at a time. Since November, more than 20 of the temporary toilets have gone up in flames. What kind of a criminal genius would do such a thing?

The fires have happened at construction sites near Lombard Street, which you probably know as that street swerves so much that only drunk people can navigate it properly. Contractors are hopping mad about it, and not just because they have to find somewhere else to go, because it smells really really bad and has caused $50,000 in damage.

But the construction workers are fighting back. Apparently they are camouflaging their cans so the pyromaniac or pyromaniacs cannot find them–like a toilet cake scented Easter egg hunt.