Day: February 11, 2009

Take it from Snee: Denying denials of Holocaust-deniers

Man, World War II. It seems like it ended just yesterday, you know? Between every movie using the Nazis as villains to every moral argument reducing to the Nazis, it’s almost like we’re still fighting them today.

Of course, there aren’t any real Nazis anymore. Sure, there are skinheads and neo-Nazis, but these are not your great-grandfather’s Wehrmacht.

No, there’s only one type of actual Nazi left: the one trapped in our brains that we just won’t let die.

Americans were one of the last countries to enter World War II, so maybe we just didn’t get our fill of killing them. Or perhaps the post-war Holocaust footage was so horrible that we feel like we didn’t kill them enough. Either way, without any actual Nazis left, we continue to fight the idea of the Nazi and anyone who considers them almost human is now a Nazi by proxy. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Denying denials of Holocaust-deniers

Cannibalism alive and well for some, dead for others

Humanity-still the other white meat (some of the time).

So, it would seem that cannibalism is still going on in the Amazon. Who would’ve guessed? Not a farmer local to the area, it would seem.

Five tribe members are on the lam(b) after allegedly having murdered and eaten a nineteen year old farmer for a ritual. Mind you, the tribesmen in question were in custody at one point or another, but they managed to escape, what with their bodies probably still slick from blood and all. You know how it happens.

Of course, the menacing group of Indians standing outside of the police station where the lot was being held probably didn’t help calm anything down either.

No word yet on whether anyone decided to wean the five off of human flesh using raccoon meat.

Here he goes (or not) again

Brett Favre must be a huge fan of The Clash, because he’s singing “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” again.

After his first “post-retirement” season, Brett the Jet is starting to think it’s time to trade his uniform for Wranglers.  He didn’t make the playoffs, but he did throw 22 more interceptions, bringing his all-time league record up to 310.

As of the release of this story, the Cincinatti Bengals began reviewing their salary situation. Favre is still under contract for two more seasons with New Jersey, but that didn’t stop him before with Green Bay.

Update (2/11/2009):
Brett Favre told the Jets that he will, in fact, retire … for at least this off-season. Stay tuned in case you give a rat’s ass.

What are airports doing about the avian threat?

As proved recently in the crash in the Hudson, birds intentionally try to bring down planes carrying civilians because to them we are all the same. To keep the public safe, airports are using high tech stuff to keep our foes at bay.

They set up foliage that looks nice for landing on, and put netting over water so birds don’t land there. They use radar to track the enemy’s movements. They shine green light at the birds, which for some reason mimics a predator stalking them. We all know that bird predators are miners with low-light green film attached to their lamps, so it’s the logical choice.

Most importantly, they use guns. These guns are really used or loaded to kill, although they should be. They just shoot shells that make really loud noises to scare off the birds. Here’s a thought: why not load up those shotguns with actual shot, better yet, how about some bird-seeking missile launchers.