It ain’t February unless Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. With that said, here’s a perfect movie to cozy up with a lady, and in the process, hopefully get a bit more than just “cozying”. It’s Love Story, the 1970 Ali MacGraw/Ryan O’Neal tear jerker vehicle. Considered by many to be one of the most romantic movies of all time, if this doesn’t work for you, nothing will. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Love Story’
Day: February 12, 2009
Lincoln sees eight legs of terror but two fangs of death
Quick riddle: what’s got enough power to kill a person, is nothing but an inch long at most and loves to live where people are? Why, it’s the brown recluse spider that’s infested the Nebraska Vocational Rehabilitation Office in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Now, take that joke and multiply by approximately a gazillion.
Yes, it’s spiders gone wild down in Nebraska’s capital city. Workers in the office have valiantly been doing their part by killing hundreds of the arachnid terrorists, but sadly, it’s just not enough. Experts suspect that many of them are surviving simply by living in underground colonies.
What they do in their underground colonies, we may never know, but we can suspect a few things:
- At least one of them is video taping plenty of messages to his fellow spiders.
- Said leader may or may not have a “hide-out beard.”
- Fornication between the spiders is a strong possibility.
- Any act taking place in these underground colonies is evil.
Sadly, we can only speculate about the truth regarding what actually happens, because if we truly knew what went down in those dark, dank lairs of evil, it might shatter our entire world.
We’ve already seen one attack on our government offices this month alone. How many more will it take to end this threat, America?!
Why Schadenfreude? Because you can afford it
Another morning, another day that your parents will ask you, “When are you going to give me a grandbaby?” (Apparently, they want a sexless grandchild.)
And then there’s Nadya Suleman, the single mother who just gave birth to octuplets because she had fertility treatments, implanted all six fertilized embryos and already had six children to boot. If she can do it, what excuse do you have for wannabe Grampy and Mom-mom?
It’s days like this that make it impossible to start your day …
Ah, but she can’t. Suleman’s now begging for handouts online, accepting Visa, MasterCard, American Express, PayPal and Discover.
Oh, Nadya. Nobody takes Discover. That’s just sad.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
OMG! MM <3's RA
In my continuing effort to keep pace with Tiger Beat, I bring you the following urgent and horrifying news brief, cannonball! Actually in the hard-hitting world of CNN entertainment journalism, we found out that Mandy “Zach Braff is a douche” Moore is engaged to indie hearthrob Ryan Adams.
No Canada, don’t get too excited about getting citzenship here, we said RYAN ADAMS, not Bryan “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” Adams. Now go back to your hockey, eh?
My hobbies include golf, reading, breaking the law …
Job applications are coming in left and right for the job of caretaker of Australia’s Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef. It’s a dream job in a beautiful corner of the world.
Because there are so many applications coming in, applicants are trying to stand out however they can. In that effort, police say, one Florida man video taped himself jumping off a bridge. The man almost got away with it, if it hadn’t been for a passing police officer who noticed him swimming to shore.
You know what else makes your job application stand out? Getting arrested.