Day: February 23, 2009

The McBournie Minute: NY Post hates the Irish

Everyone knows about the New York Post cartoon that caused so much controversy last Wednesday. It has angered African Americans across the country. I know what you’re thinking, yet another story about that cartoon. Well it’s not my fault things happen a day or two after my column comes out. Even so, no one’s talking about how this is offensive to my people.

The cartoon shows a dead chimp after being shot by two cops, who proceed to make gleeful cracks about the stimulus bills, as cops are wont to do. This is offensive to black people, according to people like Rev. Al Sharpton, because they have been portrayed as primates for hundreds of years. Plus, a man who is half black just happens to be in the White House supporting the stimulus bills.

You know who else has been portrayed as apes? The Irish. It’s not something people talk about because people don’t want to get our Irish up, but yes, for centuries, especially in the 1800s and early 1900s in the U.S., Irish Americans and Irish immigrants were frequently drawn as a sub-human species in political cartoons. How tragic for this cartoon to come out just before March, better known as Irish History Month. Irish is the new black. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: NY Post hates the Irish

The beginning of every Michael Bay movie

Every criminal has their thing. Some have cats, others henchmen. Some of them use guns, others mental brainwaves.Some rob banks, others try to destroy the world.

Nikos Paleokostas uses a helicopter to escape from prison. Now repeatedly.

The Greek government and the definition of “maximum security” has been foiled once again by Paleokostas and the third dimension when two unidentified men hijacked a helicopter from Athens International Airport, flew it to Korydallos Prison and lifted the flighty inmate and a friend, Alket Riza, off the roof using a rope ladder.

Just to drive this punchline home: this is the second time he’s made this same escape from the same damn prison. They never took measures to prevent this from happening again, like keeping Paleokostas indoors or installing anti-aircraft weaponry.

So, to Korydallos Prison, we have to say, shame on you.

Warrior of the Week: Mr. Xian

We’ve seen plenty of stories about giant animals. Finding fossils and signs of long dead animals that were colossal beasts in their time is nothing out of the ordinary.

But what happens when the giant animal wasn’t so much a fossil as it was freshly murdered?

It must’ve happened in China, that’s what.

A giant rat was found in China. A residential area in Fuzhou was infested with a foot long Chinese bamboo rat, though its nightmarish rampage was brought to an end by a courageous rat-catcher mysteriously known only as Mr. Xian. Yes, Mr. Xian bravely caught the evil monster and then kept it from terrorizing any other happy people of China. Thoroughly enthusiastic with what he did (and rightfully so), after catching the beast, he then ran into a crowd proclaiming:

“I did it, I caught a rat the size of a cat!”

You sure did, buddy. You sure did.

The ultimate fate of the rat is unknown, but here’s a hint as to what may happen:

Chinese bamboo rats are often sold for meat in Chinese markets.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go order some cashew chicken from the Chinese place not to far from me.

Not even skiers wear ski masks these days

When you’re a child, you don’t think of a lot of things that adults would. For example, if one of your buddies is wearing a ski mask, you think, “Oh cool, you can only see his eyes!” Meanwhile, your parents think you are hanging out with a terrorist.

You know who else wears a ski mask? A member of elite German military forces. Two kids in Germany found a couple masks and pretended to be commandos, which set off a police alert for two people in masks slinking around town. Police and K-9 units sealed off the area and arrested the masked avengers, only to find that they were not thieves or terrorists, instead a 12-year-old and a 13-year-old.

Remember everyone, April Fool’s Day is just over a month away. Take note of this.