Day: March 19, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

The weekend before last, an event took place that for nearly 20 years, no one thought would ever actually happen-Watchmen, the movie, came out in theaters. Before the movie even begin pre-pre-production, the fandom was split down the middle on whether Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s landmark comic book story would be utter crap or the second golden age of comic-book movies. When the first initial script came flocking about the internet depicting time paradoxes, an assassination plot and Rorschach taking it to your face, much lamenting was done.

Now, a radically different script (at least, in comparison to the original first script) has been given life, finally giving the unwashed masses (your typical fan at San Diego Comicon) a chance to watch a live action version of the film. For some, the movie is once again down the line in terms of opinion, but not quite to the degree of the previous feelings. This, for the most part, is understandably so. Even SG’s own Bryan McBournie gave his own review of the film recently, unhappy with how it went.

There is one thing you need to understand, though: Bryan McBournie is horribly, horribly wrong.

No, really. Hit the jump to find out. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

They’re eating all of our mushable food!

In these dire economic times (we leave no dead horses unbeaten), you would think that women would look out for our nation’s best interests. Jobs are scarce, food is expensive and we don’t understand health care. The last thing we need is more babies.

But, what’s the latest numbers? 4,317,000 births in 2007 — the highest since 1957 when America couldn’t stop pushing twin beds together.

Sure, some of you “ladies” out there will say, “But, The Guys, it was 2007! Stocks were at an all-time high! Even my newborn was in on the action!”

Shame on you, E-Trade Baby-Mama. Your lack of forsight has doomed us all. It’s called hindsight and it’s 20/20. Use it (and maybe a free clinic) next time.

Space has no time for freeloaders

Space. The Final Frontier.  For the longest time, these voyages to the great beyond were known only by we noble humans and our primate prisoners. There, in space, we could practice numerous scientific activities that could thus better our race in our war against those hideous animals. But now, a new threat has emerged.

Suicidal bats.

Yes, bats are now attaching themselves to space shuttle launches, undoubtedly in the ignoble hope that they can take down said space shuttle. Obviously this means that the animals have merged together into a horrible, unfied force of evil. As such, the bats, having nothing to live for now that they’re not allowed to eat those smalls bugs, have decided to become suicidal monsters.

The only coping thought that we can have regarding this news is that the bat most probably suffered a horrible and painful death upon initial launch out of the Earth’s atmosphere. If somehow, it managed to survive that, then we can take solace in the fact that it suffered an even more horrible and painful deaht, and as such, is now floating somewhere in space as a piece of space debris, hopefully causing numerous damage to some bothersome alien. Take that, ET!

Some people are born with good credit ratings

In these tough economic times (we’re trying to incorporate more cliches in our posts) you may need a loan. Also, you will probably learn a loan is not exactly easy to come by. Think it’s because you have bad credit? Think it’s because lenders are scared to lend to anyone right now because they think you peons are irresponsible and will just dump your mortgage back on the banks?

Wrong.

Turns out, if you’re not getting loans, you’re creepy looking, friend. According to a new study, how people look has a great deal to do with if the get a loan or not. For example, if you’re wearing an eye patch, you’re not getting a loan. However, if you’re wearing a monacle, get ready for the loan of your life!