Some may say that I am not the ultimate basketball fan. Tis true. Nowadays I much prefer a baseball game to any other sporting event, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the game of hoops. Somewhere around eight years ago, the New York Knicks slowly started to deterioriate my passion for watching a game of full court five on five. Isaiah Thomas began to epitmoize what everyone thought the league was, a full squad of ball-hogging babies who got paid $20 million a year to average 20 points, seven assists, 13 turnovers and cause 5.2 million headaches per night. See: Starbury, Steve Francis, Anfernee Hardaway, Eddie Curry etc …
What does this have to do with now? Well, my friends sometimes you have faith rewarded, and othertimes you have faith restored. Continue reading Eat My Sports: RU ready to stumble
Is your family around?
Don’t answer out loud! Blink once for, “No,” and twice for, “You can’t read my thoughts through the Internet.”
OK, good. Did you know that suicide might run in families? After yesterday’s news of Sylvia Plath’s son’s suicide, the experts are starting to believe this is the case.
The problem is that you don’t know when a relative might kill themselves … just to kill you. You didn’t think about that, did you?
Why, even now, your mother might be driving her car off of a cliff, just so you’ll hang yourself in the coat closet later. (Instead of leaving yourself on the floor. Seriously, at least use the hamper; that’s what it’s for.)
The Guys aren’t saying that killing your family is the only way to prevent your possible suicide … but we’re not saying your family won’t kill themselves to kill yourself, either.
For more information, consult our handy guide, “How To: Kill your parents.”
By now, you’re probably sitting down and looking at this page near your lunch time. Still, who doesn’t like a nice cup of coffee at lunch? Especially when it’s the Schadenfreude blend.
Robert Snively of Port Clinton, Ohio, should be having a moment of clarity right now, because the man is headed for town court over Guitar Hero. Heh.
Snively, 33, was jamming away on the game late at night this past weekend, pissing off his neighbors.
For the last time.
They got the boys in blue on him, who proceeded to show up and promptly write him a ticket. Since he’s a repeat offender for this sort of thing, that means he’s off to court in April.
Let’s face it people: this is sad. Now, I’ve been known to have people who lived below me in college ask to turn whatever I’m dealing with down. I’ve also had to do the same thing for people who have lived below me. But when you’re 33? And you’re a repeat offender? That’s just pathetic. And hilarious.
Mm, Schadenfreude. Taste that? That’s called being better than other people, having more common sense than most and reveling in the misery of others.
In other International Space Station-related news, NSA NASA held an online contest to name a node that will be attached to the ISS on some future flight. They had nice names like “Serenity” and “Legacy,” but America chose not to send up a node that sounds like a brand of ladies’ lady plug things.
No, instead we named it “Colbert.”
That’s right, Stephen Colbert won the competition. And will now be remembered among the stars. It really fits right in with Node 1, Unity, and Node 2, Harmony. Will NASA really end up naming the node after the greatest American since George Reagan Lincoln? Probably not. But it will always be Node Colbert to us.