“Coffee is for closers.”
Glengarry Glen Ross is one of the best films about salesmen ever made. As a story and a work of art, it ranks right up there with Death of a Salesman and the Maysles Brothers’ 1969 documentary Salesman. Coincidentally enough, these are essentially the only movies about salesmen. And it’s not even an original screenplay, it’s an adaptation of David Mamet’s theatrical play. Who would’ve guessed? Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’
So I says to Mable, “Mable,” I says, “He’s a bum. Pimp him.”
Admit it: you’ve seen homeless people on the streets and wondered what they’d look like with killer rims and a Blaupunkt. (They’d look like Go-Bots, the unloved vagrants in this Transformers world.)
Thanks to the father-son marketing team of Kevin and Sean Dolan, respectively, you may wonder no more.
The Dolans have installed a lift kit onto Timothy Edwards, a panhandler in Houston, Texas. After seeing him and fellow homeless people begging for donations with cardboard signs, they decided to “insult people’s sensitivity or appeal to their humor” [their words] with PimpThisBum.com. They pay Edwards $100 a day to use signs with the URL, and when people log in to the site, they can donate money, gifts and services.
“Visitors seeing the sign flocked to the site and in less than two months Dolan received $50,000 in donations and pledges through the site for the man, including a five-week alcohol treatment program donated by Sunray Treatment and Recovery based near Seattle, Washington.”
We, here at SeriouslyGuys, hope this idea takes off. We’d like to see a competition grow out of this, eventually resulting in magazine covers with low-rider legless war vets.
OK, this the big moment-you’re a grade schooler, you live in DC and you’ve got the opportunity to talk to the newly elected President Barack Obama. Most probably, your life will never get as exciting as it is now. What can I say? Reality sucks. However, it gets even better-you get to call an astronaut at the same time. What do you ask? WHAT DO YOU ASK?
“Can you play video games in space?”
That’s exactly what the first kid said. No questions about the majesty of space, or about the grueling selection process involved in becoming an astronaut, or about the wonders of being able to just pick up a telephone and speak to somebody in space. It was “Can you play video games in space?”, and to be honest, that’s pretty awesome. What was Mister Astronaut’s answer?
We can, in fact. And in fact a few years ago when I was up here for six months I had a video game that I used to play in my spare time. Unfortunately, we don’t have much spare time.
So we can, we have a lot of laptop computers. But for the most part we stay real busy doing real work.
Lame, space dude. As we all know thanks to wonderful documentaries, playing video games is the only way to find the chosen one to save us from an alien invasion. Add some lasers onto the space station and you’re set. Get on it NASA.
It appears that at least a portion of British therapists believe that they can cure homosexuality, because, it’s a disease, not a choice. Duh, don’t any of you watch the Bible Network? It’s totally treatable with a combination of Advil, Marlboro Reds and a case of Budweiser. And Britain has never had anything remotely homosexual come from their part of this marble.
The amusing part about all of this is that homosexuality has not been recognized as a mental illness by the World Health organization for the past 17 years. Apparently not long enough to get British therapists off of their homophobic high horse.
Jerseyites, which is what we call people from (New) Jersey, can breathe a sigh of relief this morning. Then again, they might do well to just hold in that breath because some hot wax is about to get ripped off of their genitals.
The New Jersey State Board Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board (yes, it is a real state agency) has nixed its proposed ban of bikini waxing within the state. Why would they consider such a thing? Because two people ended up getting some nasty infections (we assume on their lady parts, which are prone to infections anyway) after having the wax job done.
Because two people ended up with infections possibly because of the procedure, they wanted to ban it, which makes sense because we all know you can never get an infection from a cut, much less one from a razor you use to remove hair from the location of your choosing.
Fun fact: “Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed in New Jersey — only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted. But because bare-it-all ‘Brazilians’ weren’t specifically banned, state regulators didn’t enforce the law.”
Which begs the question, how would they inforce it in the first place. (“Put the wax down and step away from the crotch! We have you surrounded!”)
