ROBOT BABY MADE NUCLEAR BOOM-BOOM IN ITS TITANIUM DIAPER

Posted on March 31, 2009
Filed Under Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Tokyoh-no! | Leave a Comment |

Annnnnnd there goes Malaysia.

All right, so at the end of World War II (aka, the War We Won, Gol-Dernit), we took away Japan’s military presence, leaving them with the Self Defense Force. They’re only allowed to spend 2% of their GDP on the protectorate of the nation (which is still a heckuva lot of money, mind you), and so it leaves them with a lot of free time.

I guess that’s why they built a giant killer robot. You know, for “art.” At least that’s what artist Yanobe Kenji says.

According to him, the robot will be safe from the whims of evil men who want to conquer the world.

“This giant toratan doll is the ultimate child’s weapon, as it sings, dances, breathes fire, and follows only those orders given by children.”

Oh great, let children control a device that breathes fire and has a true purpose as “art.” We’ll be real safe then. Smooth move, Japan. It’s not like you already have a scary history with robots.

The robot, sighted in Roppongi, stands about 24 ft tall and is made of aluminum, steel, brass, FRP, and styrofoam. What does that mean?The best way to take the behemoth down would be with a giant magnet. Either that, or just start fighting the kids controlling the thing. They’ll go down pretty easy.

Unless they don’t go down easy at all. In which case, SG would like to print a correction: at the end of World War II, we every country but the United States of America took away Japan’s military presence, leaving them with the Self Defense Force.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor