Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here
Posted on April 1, 2009
Filed Under Take it from Snee, Tattoo Discrimination Challenge | 7 Comments |
This week, I’m gonna do something a little different. Rather than just spout off about the news, I’m going to give you, the readers, a chance to hang up here in the white space of the column with the big dogs.
On December 18, 2009, I issued a challenge to those of you who were angry at my article, “Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!” The rules were simple:
1) If you can show me one (1) photograph that proves there is a non-tattooed prisoner on Death Row, I will get a tattoo, and I will publish it on this site and on yours.
2) The inmate doesn’t have to currently serve on Death Row, but the photo should be somewhat recent, no earlier than 1980. (In other words, don’t bother submitting clean-cut Depression-era murderers and rapists.)
That proved too hard for you. It’s OK; your tattoos probably got you rejected from all of the good schools (::eye roll::).
So, I simplified the rules:
3) I will accept a letter from a reliable source, like from a prison warden or coroner, in lieu of a photograph.
After that simplification — where one would only need to visit, write, call, or email a prison — you would think that someone, anyone, among you sad souls would follow through on this.
Instead, I received this: Read more
Written by Rick SneeAh, the *old* fight about smoking
Posted on April 1, 2009
Filed Under What a Reach! | Leave a Comment |
If there’s one group more discriminated against than tattooed people, it’s smokers.
Smokers are steadily getting up in arms — once they catch their breath — and speaking out against the new federal cigarette tax hike. The increased tax requires tobacco compaines to pay the U.S. government an additional 61.6 cents for every pack sold, effectively raising the price of a carton by $6.16.
Most of the complaints come, of course, from elderly people who have either beaten the odds of contracting — or continue to smoke in spite of — health problems.
They’re responding in typical old-personly-fashion: by boring young reporters to death …
“Larry Jukes said he remembers when he could buy 10 cigarette packs for $2.50.”
… and through guilt …
“‘I think it’s ridiculous. … They’re picking on smokers,’ [83-year-old Gloria] Egger said at the Denver store, where she bought two cartons Tuesday. ‘I think they’re trying to run the tobacco companies out of business.’”
… and by making vague, impotent threats to “them.”
“‘As old as I am, I’m not going to quit smoking, regardless of what they do,’” Egger said.
What will President Obama, a smoker who signed the tax into law, do?
Written by Rick SneeGuess who just inherited dishes duty?
Posted on April 1, 2009
Filed Under Too Soon? | Leave a Comment |
Video games are evil. They’ll rot your brain and kill you. After playing, all you want to do is smoke pot, drink alcohol, commit multiple heinous felonies and become a malcontent for society. Nyeh.
These are all the sundry words spewed against gamers. It doesn’t matter if they’re totally untrue-they make great headlines. Of course, you know what makes a hilarious headline? When the victim is a gamer.
62-year-old Malcolm Palmer killed the mother of his three children after she became addicted to Grand Theft Auto. Carol Cannom, 46, apparently drove her partner mad by dragging a 37-inch plasma TV into the main bedroom and spending the entire night on her PS3. Malcolm was forced onto the sofa in order to get any sleep.
But wait, there’s more.
The PS3 was bought for their ten-year-old son, who would be allowed to play until midnight each night. Once he’d finished, the mother would take over until five or six in the morning. Malcolm also believed that Carol somehow had time for an affair, and turned violent when he was ordered out of the house, and told he’d never see his kids again.
He then inflicted 20 wounds with two knives, and the attack was overheard by their son, who dialed 999 (the equivalent to 911). Palmer grabbed the phone off the boy and said:
“I’m sorry. I think I killed her.”
Palmer’s defense lawyer is clinging to the gaming as a means of justifying his client’s attack, claiming that the
“Genesis of the tragedy bizarrely lies with the purchase of a PlayStation.”
Bizarre is right. Unfortunately, thanks to the ineptitude of the article, we’ll never figure out exactly which version of Grand Theft Auto it was. Sadly, the world may never know if the voice work of Ray Liotta, Young Maylay or Michael Hollick. And they call themselves professionals.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorEvery quarterback has daddy issues
Posted on April 1, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
There are tons of reasons to be skeptical about taking a quarterback with your first round draft choice in the NFL Draft. I mean there have been tons of documented busts with verified reasons to back up why they never should have been drafted in the first place. Ryan Leaf was a headcase. Akili Smith lacked the adaptability the NFL forces you to need. Heath Shuler sucked. Ryan Leaf was a headcase. Joey Harrington was named Joey. Ryan Leaf was a headcase.
But the San Francisco 49ers are using a different excuse for taking Georgia star Matthew Stafford off of their draft list: he wouldn’t talk to the team about his parents’ divorce. No confirmed reports on whether or not current 49ers bust Alex Smith talked about his parents, but apparently that pick is working out reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally well in the Bay area.
Written by Bryan SchoolsAnd that, friends, is called compensation
Posted on April 1, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
In this hard economic environment, it’s tough to find money–but that’s only if you’re thinking inside the box. The same thing goes for professional athletes. Apparently they need sponsorship so they can train and perform and crap, which kind of throws the “professional” part into question. Yet they can get every bit as creative as the rest of us when desperation hits.
Romain Mensil, a French athlete filmed himself running naked, then posted it on the Internet in hopes of attracting attention and getting a new sponsor. However, the video blocks out his crotch, so there is no baguette visible. Surprisingly enough, no new sponsor has come forward yet.
Oh, and he’s a polevaulter.
Written by Bryan McBournie