The McBournie Minute: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is stupid
Posted on April 6, 2009
Filed Under McBournie Minute | Leave a Comment |
Did you hear that Run-D.M.C. made it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? They’re not even rock artists (unless you count that groundbreaking version of “Walk This Way” they did with Aerosmith). How can they do that? How can you let in hip hop artists when that’s a completely different genre?
Here’s a question: Who really gives a rat’s ass?
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is completely irrelevant. Case in point: they didn’t call it the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame. But there are many, many other reasons why that place is about as rocking and the Hard Rock Cafe. For one thing, who has jurisdiction over who is and is not famous enough to get in? There is no doctrine for any such organization Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieYou ate the whole wheel of cheese?
Posted on April 6, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | 2 Comments |
In an effort to sabotage a meeting of Russian officials, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin’s dog ate everything prepared for his tea party. You read that last sentence correctly, tea party. We can only assume that the dog thought he was acting on our behalf and thought it was back in time attacking the reds.
Written by Bryan SchoolsGunmen have keen sense of smell
Posted on April 6, 2009
Filed Under Too Soon? | 1 Comment |
When a friend of SeriouslyGuys, Bobby Finstock, wrote about taking this morning’s depressing news and feeding it through an internal spin doctor, we were surprised to discover just how grim all of today’s news really is.
We wake up much later than Bobby — whose early mornings indicate he may be a bad Mennonite for using the Internet — so we were surprised to find the news had not improved by the crack of 2:30 pm. Fortunately, we found a terrible story with a silver lining.
13 people, many recent immigrants, were killed in a shooting spree at the American Civic Association in Birmingham, New York on Friday. Horrible, right?
The first casualty, Secretary Shirley DeLuccia, survived her gut shot by playing dead.
So, if you’re ever confronted by a gunman in the wild, play dead. Gunmen only shoot live prey and will move on to their next meal, which can be found in the dumpster behind the ranger station. Also, never position yourself between a gunman and its cubs.
Written by Rick SneeI love it when a plan comes together
Posted on April 6, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Sometimes, it’s the small things in life that help out the most.
An aquarium in the United Kingdom is being besieged by the very thing it’s supposed to protect-animals. DUM, DUM DUM DUM.
A coral reef exhibit has been found mysteriously destroyed, and in some cases, split right in half. Aquarium employees have been left utterly dumbfounded as to what could possibly be the source behind the destruction up until recently, when they discovered the culprit. The vandal was a mild-mannered worm.
Oh, and by mild-mannered, I mean nightmare fuel.
Why so nightmare fuel? It’s a polychaete worm. A four foot long polychaete worm. With jaws that snap and slice at an alarmingly fast speed and covered in sharp bristles that can permanently numb a human and the ability to digest hooks. The nickname for the polychaete worm? The “bobbit worm.” Oh, and polychaete worms have the ability to breath on land as well if need be. Have fun sleeping at night.
Do you see, nature? Do you see what happens when you allow monsters to be created? They attack everything. Congratulations on dooming everyone.
Jerks.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorYeah, but where’s the bartender?
Posted on April 6, 2009
Filed Under Booze News | 2 Comments |
“‘It was just an accident. I mean a little minor accident,’ Kile Wygle, 28, explained.”
The man is going for a jury trial for a DUI charge, which is a clear example of the police being out to get him. Wygle is just awesome and the cops can’t handle it. All he was doing was driving around on his homemade barstool with wheels and a motor.
Sure, he may have had 15 or so beers in him, but let’s face it. It’s a barstool with wheels–how has man existed for thousands of years without such a creation? In any case, back in March, Wygle crashed is moving awesomeness and had to be treated for minor injuries. He’s hoping a jury will see that the DUI charge is horrible and must be struck down.
Oh, and the barstool can go 38 mph.
Written by Bryan McBournie