Eat My Sports: All for nothing
Posted on April 7, 2009
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Aside from my bracket being busted by the Sweet 16, this year’s tournament was a bust. And for those of you who actually took my advice … um, I really don’t care about basketball.
See, I bring myself to actually watch the tournament every year because I love drama in sports. I love the underdog taking out the big name schools, I love half court shots to win the game, the walk-on players hitting the big shots. So if you love March Madness for the same reasons I do, then this year’s edition was not worth watching. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsShelters up, ho’s down
Posted on April 7, 2009
Filed Under Economic cliches for $1000, Alex, Tokyoh-no! | Leave a Comment |
So the missiles (or “satellites” or “debris” or just whatever that they’re calling them right now) have put the scare into some Japanese people, as they’re calling about and some even buying bomb shelters now.
Hmmm. Imagine that.
Once bitten, twice shy? No more messing around is more like it, now that North Korea is sending up god-knows-what over there. Osaka-based Shelter Co (awesome name, by the way-it gets right to the point about what is sold) said that they received 12 orders for “household nuclear shelters” shelters lately. That may not sound like much, but company president Seiichiro Nishimoto is pretty impressed, saying that this number is a record for the 30 years he has been in business. On top of that, he says that he’s received about 150 inquiries on shelters.
“Japanese want to be prepared. I expect the number of orders to increase,” said Nishimoto.
The Daily Telegraph says that most of the orders for the 2.8 million yen shelters have come from Akita and Iwate prefectures, both of which sit right under the missile path. Better safe than sorry, right guys? Still, if 12 orders is a record for your business of 30 years, isn’t that considered a failure?
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorA Segway by any other name would sound as geeky
Posted on April 7, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |
When it comes to selling cars, GM’s tanking … bad. They need help. So, who should they turn to? Toyota? BMW? How about Segway?
Yes, GM has hitched its broken wagon to Segway’s novelty star, hoping to redesign urban transportation.
They’re testing the P.U.M.A. (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility), a two-seater version of the vehicle that almost killed an American president and served as a visible punchline in The Benchwarmers and Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
Still not realizing that people like cars because they run faster than bikes and horses, the P.U.M.A. is capable of a brisk 35 mph and can travel 35 miles on a single charge. (We’re not sure what its developer’s fascination is with the number 35, but we’re betting its close to the number of people who own the original.)
Just to give you an insight on how little of a clue GM really has, here’s the skinny on bonus features by their head of Research and Development, Larry Burns:
“Imagine small, nimble electric vehicles that know where other moving objects are and avoid running into them. Now, connect those vehicles in an Internet-like web and you can greatly enhance the ability of people to move through cities, find places to park and connect to their social and business networks.”
You hear that? GM thinks they can sell anything if they plug it into Twitter.
Written by Rick SneeIntelligence likely to continue winning
Posted on April 7, 2009
Filed Under Economic cliches for $1000, Alex, Scurry (Politics), WE DID IT! | Leave a Comment |
WE’RE STILL DOING IT!
About a week or so ago, we at SeriouslyGuys told you about how an asinine proposed law in Utah was squashed right on the cusps of being created. It looks like we have nothing to fear.
Whoever would have thought the recession would aid responsibility?
While the president of Utah’s state senate thinks he could probably get a two-thirds majority in his chamber, he’s not going to take the lead if the state house, which originated the bill, isn’t pushing for a veto. And that seems to be the case. The representative who sponsored the bill sent a letter to his colleagues sticking up for the bill, but not asking explicitly for their support of an override session or their vote in it.
Why so? Because on the back end, there’s a money issue. The legislature had canceled this month’s “interim study day” between sessions, saving about $25,000 in costs related to convening it. Like most states, Utah is pinching every penny where it can. So if the anti-game bill is worth the fight, and it isn’t, they’d have to spend the $25 grand just to take a vote. And then, if it succeeded, spend more taxpayer money in a constitutionally doomed defense of it.
May 11 is the deadline to call such a session. If money’s involved, the cheapest form of legislation will probably win.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThe newest line of species traitors: Inmates
Posted on April 7, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
We have suspected it for a long time, but now we finally have proof: the animals are helping our human prisoners escape in hopes of turning them against us! It’s a brilliant strategy, if you think about it. Our attention moves to the escapees and not the real enemy.
Our proof? Carrier pigeons have been caught smuggling in cell phone parts to prisoners in Brazil. Once, when they were our minions, they carried our important information on the battlefield. Now it seems they are against us on the battlefield of the 21st century, where there is no battlefield.
We can only assume the Verizon Wireless guy has been turned, as well.
Written by Bryan McBournie