The McBournie Minute: Social media makes my life worth it
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under McBournie Minute | 2 Comments |
Oh my god, I just checked my Facebook page and you’ll never believe who’s “It’s Complicated” now! Also, I totally just added the magical egg app to my profile, so now you can give me eggs and we can see what they hatch into!
For those of you who have no idea what just happened, you can probably turn off your computer now, but I’m guessing the vast majority of people reading this (seven) know exactly what that means, but cannot for the life of them translate it into English. This is what happens when a fad comes around. Social media is not a fad. It is a genre of fad that is new this decade and will probably not go away until we can find something to replace it. It has to be something even newer. (Sorry, Tamagochi.)
Social media really sucks, folks. I know, SG has a MySpace page, a Facebook page, heck, we even have a Twitter profile, and I am no exception, (you like how I worked those in?) but really, what does any of this do? I will admit, I enjoy stalking high school girls as much as the next average Internet user, but haven’t we become a little self-involved? Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieYou’ve gotta shoot them in the head
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under Economic cliches for $1000, Alex, Zombies | Leave a Comment |
Now, I’ll readily admit to being a big film geek. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t write a movie review column. I try to keep my pretentiousness in check most of the time, but frankly, I can’t help it escaping. Now is one of those times. Ladies and gentlemen, you’re clearly doing a horrible job of watching classic cinema.
Everyone knows that the only way to make the living dead sans living is to eradicate the brain mass of a zombie. By doing so, you end the walking dead’s existence. Of course, me assuming that everyone knew what to do clearly shows just how wrong I was, because it would seem that people in Houston are completely and totally ignorant of this vitally critical piece of information. Now, why would I say this?
A man was brought back to life not once, not twice, not thrice, but 5 times (5 times, 5 times, 5 times, 5 times) recently. Now, one would assume that to be a good thing, except for this fact-the man died 5 times. This means that his craving for human braaaaaaains was made that much stronger with each subsequent “revival.” Houston area emergency doctors, do the right thing-put a bullet in this man’s cerebral cortex before he starts spreading a plague that you’re most probably ill-equiped to handle. In these tough economic times, do you really suspect that you’ll be able to actually live out a zombie outbreak in a mall of today? Don’t just do it for yourself-do it for America.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorOh those crack heads
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under Headline of the Day | Leave a Comment |
Seriously, we’re wondering what in the hell goes on in the minds in CNN’s editing department.
Written by Bryan SchoolsGermans don’t care about black bears
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under Picture of the Day, War on Animals | 1 Comment |
So, the Germans’ (Germen’s?) obsession with polar bears has finally led to tragedy — well, funny tragedy because nobody died.
A woman jumped into the Berlin Zoo’s polar bear exhibit for unknown reasons during the bear’s Friday afternoon feeding. (Was she part of the feeding? Zoo officials say no … but only because there were witnesses.)
She was biten several times by an adult polar bear, briefly pulled out of the water by zookeepers and fell back in to be grabbed by possibly another bear. For those of you who might give a crap about her, she was pulled back out again with more lasting results.
If the topic of polar bears at the Berlin Zoo seems familiar, that’s because it’s the home of Knut, the bear everyone loved until he, like other child stars, grew up to be angry and violent. For all we know, this bear could have been Knut.
Written by Rick SneeIf there are are any lice still in the room, now would be a good time to let me know
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |
That’s what I thought.
Living in Russia is tough. I mean, the road is always forking you, your currency sounds like the currency in The Legend of Zelda and just around the corner is Chernobyl, the city you’d just love for the rest of the world to forget about it.
And then there’s Moscow. I mean, sure, it’s the largest city in the Russian federation, but that’s like saying you’re king of the landfill. There’s a threat to life everyday for you-grand theft auto, police impersonation, a ridiculously high murder rate, homicide inducing karate experts-
-Wait, what?
Oh yeah. They’re rampant. You can find from hotels to hostels. And they’re neat freaks. Oh MAN, are they EVER neat freaks. If they think for even a second that you, a mild civilian, might pass on lice to you or a loved one, they will kill you in a heartbeat. Yup, no hesitation will be given to the matter.
So what’s the true solution to the problem? It’s not social or financial change for the country. Just teach everyone three simple words: SWEEP. THE. LEG.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorPower squeaky toys optional
Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
Honda has shown their true colors, and they are not on our side. The car maker unveiled recently that they will sell a version of the Element to be more geared towards dogs. No, they aren’t able to drive–yet, they will simply have a much smoother ride.
Dogs will have a trunk area with a cushioned bed, a water bowl and even a ramp to get into the car. The thing is, they are pets, they are not humans, so they should not be treated as such. They should be made an example of, not catered to. They might be man’s best friend, but maybe that’s just because we keep our enemies closer.
In any case, if you leave the windows rolled up on a hot day, there is still no safety mechanism, so there’s that.
Written by Bryan McBournie