You Missed It: Take my kid, please edition

Not that we are watching the clock or anything, but it appears to be Friday and nearing 5 pm–that is unless you don’t live on Eastern Daylight Time, in which case, tough cookies. I am certainly itching to get out of here and I am sure I am not the only one. If you were busy contracting swine flu this week, odds are you missed it.

Bollywood has its scandals, too
This week, Indian police investigated allegations that the father of Slumdog Millionare star Rubina Ali had once tried to put her up for adoption for $400,000. The initial accusation came from the girl’s estranged mother, and took off when the press got wind of it. The police cleared Rafiq Qureshi of any wrongdoing. Qureshi said, “Of course I didn’t sell her back then, and it’s a good thing, too, because she’s worth a lot more now.”

Clearly, this is not a good time to be a pirate
One of the Swedish judges who convicted torrent site The Pirate Bay last week admitted this week that he had been part of a copyright protection group, which, as they say in Sweden, is probably an example of bias on the judge’s part and therefor the case should be retried. Well, that’s what the lawyers are saying anyway. I have a question, why are the Swedes so hard on piracy? Aren’t they known for invading the territory of others, taking whatever they want, then making a profit off of it?

‘What? Hacking? Noooooo, not us!’
Somebody hacked into park of the plans for the $300 billion Joint Strike Fighter program–the most expensive military aerospace project in U.S. history. They didn’t get much, but they got something, and the U.S. Department of Defense is looking at China. China flatly denies hacking any U.S. stuff, even though their military has a corps of hackers and they are suspected of causing the Northeast Blackout of 2003. China also denied rumors that the Olympics were held in Beijing last summer.

Warrior(s) of the Week challenger: Franck’s Pharmacy

Earlier this week, we told you about how a bunch of horses from Venezuela “mysteriously died” just hours before a polo race. Well, it would now seem that the actual culprit was Franck’s Pharmacy, which “incorrectly” gave the wrong doseage amount. We can learn two things from this situation:

1. SeriouslyGuys is not guilty of any crime, no matter how valiant the activity was.
2. Putting words in quotations marks is awesome.

Montana town wants already-softened Gitmo detainees

The city of Hardin, Montana wants to host the 240 Guantanamo detainees when President Barack Obama closes Camp X-Ray. It’s not that they have a hard-on for bearded terrorist suspects; they have an empty $27 million jail and construction debts to pay off.

Unfortunately, the rest of the state says, “No. Not yours. Do not want.” (Montana typically elects cats to public office since there are only twelve human residents.)

So, are they being denied because the detainees would “exceed the capacity of the U.S. District Court in Billings, which would have jurisdiction over their cases,” as stated by U.S. Senator Max Baucus?

It’s an interesting theory, but probably because they don’t want the Federal Government to officially deny Hardin, calling the remote Montana city “cruel and unusual punishment — and we’re talking about terrorist ####bags here.”

This is why sake bombs aren’t huge in America

We know you are as shocked and appalled as we are on this one: Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, whom we don’t have to tell you is a former member of the Japanese pop group SMAP and is now a television personality, was found by police drunk and naked in a park in Tokyo. (We’ve all been there.)

The story is shocking because Kushangi is known as one of the cleanest cut personalities on Japanese television today. Though this sounds like his image may change a bit now.

Worst of all, Kusangi is in for a Phelpsian twist: Toyota is pulling commercials featuring him, which will mean a significant dent in his wallet.

We’re not sure what SMAP is supposed to stand for, but today it stands for Seen Minus Any Pants.