Day: May 4, 2009

The McBournie Minute: We are not prepared for the ninja threat

Piracy is something we all live with. We do it every time we download a new song or movie on our favorite Torrent application. Of course, The Pirate Bay got smacked with a conviction in Sweden recently, so they may or may not be out of the picture.

Then there is the rise in piracy off the coast of Somalia. Desperate men and teenagers are taking to the seas to seek fortune, or a sniper’s bullet, depending on how things go. Pirates, thanks to the movies, have enjoyed a pop culture celebration, complete with eye patches and peg legs. But we’re all missing the big issue.

Ninjas are coming. It’s only a matter of time. The resurgence in piracy can only mean that there will be an equal and opposite resurgence in ninjaism. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: We are not prepared for the ninja threat

They can’t take our ammo, only we can

In the post 100-days of Barack Obama’s presidency, gun enthusiasts are suddenly finding it hard to find ammunition.

The cause of this de facto ammo ban? Other gun owners.

Because Obama is black and must, therefore, listen to Chris Rock, they’re buying up so much of the stuff that gun shop owners are reporting that they haven’t received new shipments on certain makes for four months, including .380 (little pocket guns) and .38 Special (Colbert’s Sweetness).

So, the gun issue may be finally resolved after all: when gun owners starve to death buying $4,000 limited edition cases of Desert Eagle rounds on EBay. (Then you may pry them out of our hands.)

Let’s play a game

We will give you three headlines, all about the same story. Try to name each news outlet.

  1. “Supreme Court to consider life in prison for juveniles”
  2. “Justices to hear appeals of lifers sentenced as teens”
  3. “Supreme Court to Hear Convicted Rapist’s Case”

The answers are after the jump. Continue reading Let’s play a game

Pigs: They don’t seem to like us

Swine flu is becoming a big deal, and not just to the news media. The illness is becoming a pandemic, and several people could die. But wait, it gets worse.

Pig farmers are worried that humans may give swine flu to their swines. Yeah, well, didn’t they give it to us in the first place? As it turns out, probably not. Sure they helped create the illness, but pigs don’t have the bug. This obviously means they made it to hurt us.

But now, we have the chance to take the fight back to them. We can try to infect them and watch as swine flu rips through their ranks. We can take this attack and turn it into something that can hurt our enemy instead. Folks, get coughing.