Eat My Sports: Mailbag edition
Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
This week could not be limited to one topic. With so much happening in the sports world this past week, how could I let you, my loyal readers, be cheated by anything other than full coverage of this little circus? And by loyal readers, I mean that this week I’m pretending that people actually write me with questions that they want answers. So, if any of you actually read this, this is what you would be asking me this week.
Bryan, your old pal Manny Ramirez was busted for steroids this week. Given your harsh stance on A-Rod, do you feel the same way about Manny, or was it different because he did it for your Sox?
-Tim S, Lansing, Michigan
If you guys should know anything about me now, is that I will not forgive or pardon any steroid user. I’m thankful that what happened with Manny happened in Los Angeles, however, Manny’s namesake is now sullying reputations of guys like David Ortiz and Pedro Martinez simply because of association. And for guys like that who I will always hold a special place for, it’s wrong, but sadly unavoidable.
The main question I’ve been hearing come up is now the Hall of Fame issue. Should these guys be allowed in? And unfortunately I’m going to have to say “yes.” It’s leaking out that so many were doing it that from a media perspective you have to look at it and say that the playing field was to some degree, level. Does it excuse them? No, but people like Ramirez and Rodriguez will forever have their names associated with steroids, which I think in some respects, is punishment enough. (PS, I completely understand Manny’s mood swings now, he was pregnant for almost eight years in Boston, it all makes sense.) Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsYou know they can’t try a corpse, right?
Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under He's Dead, Jim | Leave a Comment |
George Zinkhan, a business professor at the University of Georgia, was found dead from, according to authorities, a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. He committed suicide after killing his wife and two of her theater buddies.
Wait, that’s not very funny. If you’re laughing already, you’re not reading this right and might be sick. (Not that we’d judge you.)
The funny part was that Zinkhan dug his own grave first, covered it with brush and branches and then shot himself. Why? So it would be more difficult for police to find his body.
If you’re planning to kill yourself, here’s some handy advice:
- If you’re killing yourself, does it really matter if you’re found? This isn’t the Middle Ages. Nobody’s going to put your corpse on trial, have somebody sit behind you and do your voice and execute your body once found guilty (true story).
- Always use the buddy system. If you must hide your body, have a buddy cover your grave with dirt or cement … really, anything that will prevent Corey Feldman from poking you with a stick.
It’s a land of paradise for Uncle Reggies across the world
Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
You know how you may or may not have lost your job because it was outsourced to, most probably, India? Well, guess what industry of theirs is so thriving that it probably won’t get outsourced (copied is another thing though)?
Man, the old end theme for the Flintstone Vitamins commercial really gets creepy when you think about it now.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorBYOB
Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Looking for a way to beat the economic crisis and still get your drink on? Well, my friend, if you are suave enough, you can find a restaurant that goes by the oldest drinking adage in the book, bring your own booze.
Written by Bryan SchoolsThe fight for mankind never takes a vacation
Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
As some of you may have heard, I was out Friday and yesterday (yet the McBournie Minute was posted, weird!). But, we’re at war, and this war has no armistices or even ceases of fire (cease fires?). So let’s take a look at what’s going on on the front lines.
Russia’s getting antsy. They’ve been flying near our Navy’s ships, they’ve been killing political opponents, and they seem to like bears in general. Now, they are going ofter people trying to take out one of our greatest threats: the goat. Apparently, someone’s been flying around on a helicopter hunting a rare species of goat, most likely cranking Ride of the Valkyries. All they are trying to do is rid us of their threat and ensure our safety, but Russia wants the hunting stopped.
But the good news is that Canada gets us. More importantly, they’ve got our backs. PETA is after Canada about the annual seal hunt. They want to boycott the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. Well, Canada said “F-you, eh!” to PETA last week when they voted to include seal skin in the uniforms of their athletes at the games. Get your hotel and plane reservations now, it’s time to go protester clubbing in Vancouver!
Written by Bryan McBournie