Day: May 21, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it

Here at SeriouslyGuys, we strive to bring you the best in original content regarding the news. Trust me, at least one part of that statement is true. Still, we at least attempt to come up with something that you hopefully haven’t heard of before.

This is probably why we don’t work in Hollywood.

Between the four of us, there’s at least four new ideas. In Hollywood, a lot of the time, it almost seems as if it’s ridiculously difficult just to get one new idea among four thousand guys. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it

SG Translates: Dick Cheney’s May 21 speech

Politics is a lot like Armaic literature: with a little bit of effort, you can read whatever message you want from it. It’s times like these that we help cull the bull from the puckey to translate for our often misunderstood policy makers.

Today, we’re reading, former Vice-President and reigning American Boogeyman, Dick Cheney’s speech on Thursday in response to Obama’s about torture, Guantanamo Bay and 9/11.

(C’mon, you’d think he’d leave that out? Not reliving 9/11 is like Bon Jovi not playing “Livin’ on a Prayer!”)

[Skipping the introductions and cutting right to the meat … ] Continue reading SG Translates: Dick Cheney’s May 21 speech

Shirking duties in life only costs a small fee

Sometimes the stress of life in an office environment is just a bit too much for the denizens of Tokyo. Suicide used to be a common option, but now that’s being replaced by Marunouchi Morning University’s program where Tokyoites pay $400 to learn how to farm. Apparently, Japan hasn’t heard about global economic crisis affecting the world. Such decadence.

Some of these people, sick of working in their various fields, are even considering giving up the office life for the daily toil of farming. It’s interesting to see the fluctuation from a massive culture of office life in the 1970s and ’80s turn into a rejection of it; more and more small businesses are being set up,  and some people are moving back to the countryside. Will those small, family-run shops gain a new life?

Realism says nope, be prepared to be absorbed into Giganto-Mart. It’s the price of decadence.

Dear Japan: I can teach you how to farm for a dollar and fifty cents. What can I say? Mangoes and tangerines ain’t going down in price.

Nothing more sardonic than impending death

Sardinia is a place best known for, well, not a whole lot. But today, they can give us a smile when they say that, because it will most likely be sardonic. Scientists have found that the Oenanthe crocata, better known as the hemlock water-dropwort, has alcohols in it that will give you a bitter kind of a smile, thus being the origin of the term “sardonic.”

Old people were usually give the alcohol because they are a burden on society (and still are), then they would be thrown off a high rock or beaten to death. Odds are they had toothless sardonic smiles on their faces.