In Observe and Report, Seth Rogen plays Ronnie Barnhardt, a security guard with delusions of grandeur. In Ronnie’s mind, he is the law, and the only thing standing between order and chaos at the local mall. Thing is, Ronnie’s not playing with a full deck; he takes anti-psychotic meds and still lives at home with his alcoholic mom. He also has a racist streak and is quick to whip out his tazer on unsuspecting shopkeepers. Ronnie and his mall cop deputies fantasize about the day when they’ll be allowed to carry guns, but it’s clear that these are about the last people who should be trusted with firearms. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Observe and Report’
Day: May 28, 2009
Dreamworks Animation: Quantity is quality
Dreamworks announced that they will make more animated movies per year than they have in the past.
Right now, they have eight scheduled for release by 2012, including:
- A Kung Fu Panda sequel*
- Another Madagascar sequel*
- Another ####ing Shrek sequel*
- Four films that are identical (but with a twist!) to whatever Pixar puts out each year
- And one for the grown-ups — PG-13, of course
So, yes, technically, there will be more “new” “Dreamworks” films every year from now to 2012. We, for four, certainly can’t wait to see each and every one of them!
*Actually annouced by the studio.
Oh, animals
What, did you get tired of subtlety? For shame. You’re not man’s best friend. You’re man’s most dastardly friend, even more than 30 years ago.
The good die young, old
As a recently engaged SeriouslyGuy (Rick bit the dust first), I’ve been hearing the rounds from friends, “there goes another good one.” But one of the original bachelors, one who has been dating high-school girls for over 50 years, has finally realized he’s got no other options.
That’s right kids, Archie has popped the question and will now be forced to suppply an endless amount of hamburgers at his wedding at the expense of Jughead.
Kidz Korner: What’s that on Daddy’s breath?
Here at SG (and the rest of the Internet, really), we love more taking other people down a peg while pretending to be important ourselves. But if there’s one thing we love more than that, it’s the corruption of the innocent.
A group of kids are likely to either hate cops or fear clowns after they witnessed police arrest a female clown for what the believe was her involvement in a drunk driving accident. We’re not going to make a judgment call, but Patricia Ingalls, who has been a professional clown for 17 years, blew a .252, according to police.
That being said, parents, it’s time to leave the room, it’s kids-only now. We’ll wait.
OK, gang. It’s time to learn one of the most important facts of life: you and all of your little friends are annoying as all heck. In fact, you are so loud, hyper and unruly that you make Mommy and Daddy drink. When Mommy and Daddy drink, they either like to have private time or they like to argue. And when they argue, they talk about how they can’t stand you and want to start living in separate houses.
It’s all your fault.
You see, you’ll find out one day that alcohol helps numb the pain of a meaningless existence. Part of which is the realization that children are annoying and carry diseases. This is why Sloppy the Clown drank–to deal with you runts. For 17 long years, that’s all she’s been dealing with. Day in and day out. And that it perfectly OK, but the problem is, kids, when you drink alcohol, you’re not supposed to drive. If you do, you get in trouble.
Which brings us to the moral of the story: when you grow up, don’t drink and drive.