I Love the War on Terror: 2003

Posted on June 2, 2009
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If there’s one thing The Guys can’t get enough of, it’s reliving the past, and Dick Cheney is all about the year 2003 right now. (We’re positive that it’s not a sign of mental degradation.)

Lots of great things happened in the War on Terror in 2003:

NASA space shuttle Columbia exploded, and we’re still waiting to find the bastards that did it.
The Department of Homeland Security was founded to waste tax dollars. (We only get two terror alert colors, but pay for six?!)
Iraq was responsible for 9/11.
OK, Afghanistan was, but Iraq was partially involved.
Alright, fine, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, but they like terrorists, which all look the same to us (just like women).

We’re gonna take a break to write some new articles, but when we come back:

Cheney will assert that Iraq wasn’t in the terrorist game, but was developing weapons of mass destruction.
We torture Asians for information about SARS!

Written by Rick Snee