Day: June 24, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’

BOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHONK. ZOOM!

That’s the recurring theme of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The giant robots from another planet are back, but this time, they range in sizes other than just giant. Nonetheless, it’s big, it’s loud, so get used to it!

But is it any good? Well, the answer just may very well surprise you.

Hit the jump to see my take on the movie. Oh, and as a warning, you should probably expect some spoilers. I’m going to attempt to keep them mild, but caveat … uh, whatever pig latin is for reader. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’

Don’t cry for him, Charleston

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is back from his trip to the grocery store for smokes the Appalachian Trail the South American country of Argentina … wait, what?

That’s right: he was out of the country. No calls, no giving the Lt. Govenor the comm, not even telling his wife where he was going. He just picked up and Thelma and Louised it down to where the toilets flush backwards.

There are several fascinating aspects to this story:

  • His wife reportedly did not know where he was, preferring to stay home with the children. This has to be the most trusting marriage in America.
  • He went to Argentina. The only things Argentina is known for are Eva Peron and hidden Nazi war criminals. It’d be irresponsible to suggest he was unwinding by drinking schnapps out of Evita’s skull, so we’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
  • He came home “early.” He actually planned to stay out for an entire week. For fun, try going on an unannounced weeklong vacation from work without answering your boss’ calls. If you’re still employed, you must have been elected. By morons.
  • This is all because the S.C. legislature forced him to accept Federal Stimulus funds. This may be the most outrageous passive-aggressive tantrum thrown by a S.C. elected official since 1860 when State House Senator Aloicious Sharpe wrote a terse letter to Union troops stationed at Fort Sumter and did not sign it cordially.

Update: Oh, it was about a woman. Why not just say that in the first place? This could be as good for the Republican Party as that Catholic priest caught having sex with a woman.

Happy ending parlor gets bad ending

Ear hygiene is serious business in Japan. From cute designer cleaning tools to high-tech endoscopic pickers, an entire industry has sprung up around sterilizing the ear canal. Weird as it might sound to foreigners, the ear-cleaning mania also has its roots in culture. Having someone else clean your ears is taken as a sign of intimacy, showing that you’d trust another person enough to allow them to stick foreign objects into your head.

It’s not surprising then, that businesses have also sought to cater to customers whose ear-sanitation needs are rooted more in social contact than pure hygiene, with ear-cleaning salons and parlors offering customers the chance to lay their head on a pretty yukata-wearing lady’s lap while she pick their ears and makes light conversation. That said, there’s such a thing as meeting a customer’s needs too well. Saitama city cops raided and shut down several “one-shot cleaning” parlors that were offering services extending far beyond simple earwax removal. One of the managers arrested ran similar outfits in different wards of the city.

Remember kids: crime does not pay. It is a dirty, dirty service, just as sticking something into your ears to “clean them out” is. Also, Japan is still totally weird.

Another reason for Canadian freeloading

Looks like we might be having a bit more of a rush to the border than usual. Ontario, or as we like to call it, Canada’s home base, has a realistic possibility of having its liquor store employees go on strike. So, like any other city in the world would do, their residents are stockpiling booze like mad.

But what does this mean for us? Be on the look out for those quasi-Frenchies.

Yet another war the hippies try to undermine

When an animal wanders onto a busy highway, that’s generally pancake time–a tradition we proudly salute. But, as has been the case since 1967, the rules don’t apply in San Francisco.

It was there that a baby sea lion cutely waddled its way out onto I-880 when there were  a lot of cars on the road. Instead of doing their civic duty and teaching that sea feline a one-time lesson in consequences, they called the police. When the California Highway Patrol got there, they did the right thing and threw the sea lion in the back of their car, not even stopping to Marandize the beast.

Presumably, they were taking the juvenile in for questioning (waterboarding doesn’t work well on aquatic creatures), then the namby-pambies had a change of heart and brought it to a nearby marine center.

The good news is this seems to be a fairly common occurence. That means there’s always next time.