Oh sure, climbing onto an inflatable ride is fun, but when the inflatable ride flies away, it’s just awesome.
“The wind blew real hard and blew it over and kids were flying everywhere,” witness Katiya Braswell said.
And I am now burning for cracking up at that quote.
Anyone can write a heart-wrenching piece about a 40-year married couple, who had been together since prom, that were killed together in a catastrophe.
Maybe fewer could tug at the heartstrings further by describing how they had just finished volunteering with wounded soldiers beforehand.
And perhaps only the bastard child of Nicholas Sparks and Michael Bay would throw in that one of them helped save America on 9/11 by ordering fighter jets into the air that morning.
But with just one headline about them being “inseparable” when they died in a completely crushed together DC Metro train car, all that work is undone.
Congratulations, CNN.
(Just in case they change it, here’s a screenshot.)
Dinner at a nice enough place on a Friday night (including tip): typically, $30 minimum.
Dinner at a nice enough place on a Friday night in the South: approximately, $20. Woo-boy, they sure love them some App-la-bees!
Two tickets to the cinema: approximately, $20.
Time out at the club (including a minimum of three drinks for both): $45 to 50, conservatively.
Ease in giving a happy ending to your lady friend when you leave the club : $10 more. Hope you’re keeping those bills fresh in your wallets, guys.
Remember the first half of the 20th century? Odds are you don’t. That’s OK, governments do–when they want to. (By the way, African-Americans, Congress says we’re sorry over 130 years later for that minor slavery mishap.)
Spain remembers. And they remember dictator Francisco Franco, who came to power in 1939. Apparently, he was named honorary mayor of Madrid and adopted son of the city, but no more! The city has stripped him of those titles, just 30 short years after his death.
Also, Madrid stripped Franco of the hot dog eating contest honors he got from 1951 to 1954, where he placed first, second, fourth and first, respectively.
In a story that should intrigue couples trying to have kids, as well as make your head hit the desk after reading, apparently having sex with more regularity leads to better sperm. Especially if you and <insert phallic name here> are dealing with damaged sperm. And, surprise, better sperm apparently leads to higher pregnancy rates. I’m not even a doctor, and I could’ve written this report.
So gentlemen, if you’re dealing with “damaged goods” just convince your lady that, in this case, practice makes perfect.
