Jackson death mystery solved

Posted on July 2, 2009
Filed Under He's Dead, Jim, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

The media and the blogoshere are ablaze with the latest news on the death of Michael Jackson and the aftermath. Speculation abounds about what exactly killed the King of Pop while we wait for the toxicology report. Well the wait is over.

Bubbles the chimp did it.

Remember Bubbles? He toured with Jacko for a little while in the late 80s, when touring with a wild animal was popular. (Bruce Springsteen toured with kangaroo.) For a time, Bubbles was famous, but he was famous for being Jackson’s second banana. And even if you like bananas, that fact can eat at you.

So over the decades since Bubbles sat quietly in his “wildlife reserve” retirement home in Florida, plotting to kill the monarch who ruined his life. He took time establishing connections in the underground, observing Jackson’s habits and trying to forget how to moonwalk. When the time came, he ordered the regicide. All from behind bars.

With enough patience, every major news story is part of the War on Animals.

Written by Bryan McBournie