Day: July 9, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Transformers’

Hey there readers. Chugs has had a ridiculously heavy week at work, and frankly, is frazzled at a creative standpoint. Truth told, that sentence may not have actually made any sense, or at least, the last part of it didn’t seem to. It doesn’t help that he’s still got stuff on his plate for the rest of the week. In the meantime, why don’t you enjoy a classic review of his? At least you can see what a good Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay is-as opposed to a more recent one.

Let the review for Transformers, the 2007 Bay-centric version, begin! By the way, there will probably be a few spoilers here and there, so heed that as the warning.

Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Transformers’

Another reason to keep your corpse at home

From this month's issue of Home Decorpse! AH-HAHAHAhahaha ...Another cemetery scandal has been unearthed (ha!), this time near Chicago, Illinois. Police are accusing some unnamed workers of digging up over 300 bodies in graves nobody visited, dumping the remains and reselling the plots for personal profit.

It’s ghoulish, but what’s the point? Sure, there’s the aspect where the business end was cheating the owners out of their coinage, but did it matter where these dead people were forgotten? Family members weren’t reporting the disappearances, history didn’t care about them … who cares if they become bean-bag chair filler?

(In fact, what may be the few undisturbed graves were those of African-American civil rights pioneers: people who won’t be forgotten for some time.)

So, let’s save the outrage, and maybe reevaluate our country’s obsession with immortalization after death. It’s–clearly–not immortal, and you ain’t no pharaoh. Or, if you’re really worried, keep your dead at home.

Beer bellies-a thing of the past

Oh science, how I love you!

From the UK comes excellent news for beer drinkers — and their bellies: According to the results of a new study, beer bellies are caused by genetics, not beer.

After tracking 7,876 men and 12,749 women over the course of eight and a half years, a group of German and Swedish researchers discovered that while regular drinkers — especially those who consumed the equivalent of two pints a day — were more likely to gain weight overall, that weight did not necessarily accumulate in the abdominal region. The scientists concluded that while “beer consumption seems to be rather associated with an increase in overall body fatness,” evidence of more “site-specific” weight gain was limited. Somewhat unsurprisingly, given its pivotal role in most weighty matters, genetics was the real culprit.

The news couldn’t have come at a better time, i.e summer, when hot days call out for cold brews and beer aficionados seek sweet relief in air-conditioned bars across the country.

Surprise of the day: Jacko needed help

In our “things that make you go ‘duh'” column, we learn today that the Jackson family, led by the least crazy of the bunch, Janet, tried to stage an intervention with Michael Jackson back in 2007.

Was it for his “love” of children? His strange obsession with monkeys? The fact that he was whiter than Rick Snee? No to all of the above. Big surprise, Jackson was a pill-head. In other shocking news, if you can understand the combination of letters in front of you on the computer screen, you can read!

The Germans will invade your farm, requisition your equipment

Sooner or later, it happens to everyone–you’re out with some friends enjoy a few drinks, and one by one, everyone in your group leaves. Suddenly, you realize you have no way of getting home. Some people might call their friends and tell them to pick them up. Others may even stagger around in the parking lot until the bartender drives them home. In Germany, they take a different approach.

A 23-year-old German dude was abandoned by his girlfriend at a nightclub. Not having a car–or a license, for that matter–police say the man decided to steal a tractor and drive his way home. Only thing is, the police caught up with him, as he lead them on a very slow chase. He lead police on for 40 minutes going about 12 mph.

OK, so where are their clubs and tractors nearby?